Suck it, hookers!
No blog for you!!!
Dark Side was here!!!
Suck it, hookers!
No blog for you!!!
Dark Side was here!!!
Howdy Ghost fans…
First, my “teams” are the St. Louis Cardinals (defending World Champs, y’all!),
the Cleveland Browns (Dawg Pound for life!),
Phoenix Suns (Steve Nash is the man, and if he retires this season, the league is losing one helluva man, let alone a player.)
and the Washington Capitals (who just knocked off the defending champs Boston in 7 straight One-goal games, including 4 OT games.)
Explaining the wild diverse span there will take far too much time….so I’ll try to boil it down…I started playing football in junior high, and didn’t want to root for the local team just because they were good, so while playing Tecmo Bowl on the NES, I started trying out different squads…Let’s just say that Bernie Kosar, Clay Matthews and Ozzie Newsome made an impact on me. Throw in Kevin Mack, Webster Slaughter, Gerald “The IceCube” McNeil, Eric Metcalf and the list goes on…I found my team. They were pretty darn good late 80′s/early 90′s…I got hooked.
The Phoenix Suns were a little more complicated. My favorite player growing up was Charles Barkley. I briefly rooted for the Sixers, but when he got traded to Phoenix (where I have some cousins) I had a team. From Kevin Johnson to Dan Majerle to Jason Kidd to Steve Nash…and briefly the Big Shaqtus…How could I forget the Matrix? I found a team that I liked and wanted to root for.
I’ve always been a St. Louis Cardinal fan. Dad loved them, and where I’m from, you either root for the Redbirds or the Cubs. Never really considered anything else.
The Caps? Well, from the early NHL video games on Sega Genesis and Super Nintendo, Dino Ciccarelli, Dale Hunter, Al Iafrate and Don Beaupre were it. They had cool uniforms, and Iafrate could beat that ass! Dale Hunter could throw down too. In the old days, you had to just keep running into guys til someone would fight….you wanted to stay the F*CK away from Marty McSorley of the Kings and Bob Probert of the Red Wings..those dudes would end your night quick!!!
Which actually brings me back to my original point…even in the early days of these hockey games, when you could start creating players, you couldn’t make black dudes…there weren’t any in the NHL and they just weren’t an option….but the game 7 winning goal last night was scored by the only black player on the Caps squad, Joel Ward.
And people started tweeting all sorts of ignorant racist sh*t.
This was an EPIC series. A number 7 seed upsetting a number 2. In seven straight one-goal games with four OT matches tossed in there too! Just great hockey. The young Caps Goaltender going head to head with the dude who stood on his head and lead the Bruins to the championship just the year before.
The Capitals head coach was pulling their best scorer with leads, to play more defensive minded players. Just a ton of strategy and nail biting.
Why the f*ck is race even still an issue? Grow the hell up people. I guarantee if those same morons tweeting last night had a black player on the Bruins score the game winning goal, that same kind of nonsense wouldn’t have been coming out of their mouth.
I guess it shouldn’t surprise anyone that ignorance is still alive and kicking. Do everyone a favor…and smack any friends or family who you hear talking like this. It’s seriously time to put an end to this crap. Make the effort to smack the ignorance out of people today. I’ll work on getting my lawyer buddies to draft a law to get Congress to approve. If you hear someone spouting off “hate speech” you are free to slap the piss out of them. We’ll call it Preemptive Applied Reeducation Therapy. If it prevents hate crimes or just keeps people from staying stupid sh*t, it’s totally worth it.
(Hold still. Let me slap that out!!!)
Think we can get this law to pass? Is anyone really in opposition to it?
So, we’re letting the whiny one have the keyboard for a minute here…Please don’t embarrass us….
Have you ever….
Haver you ever missed someone that you just met? Someone you’ve never met?
Have you ever sat tortured by your cell phone….agonizing over it’s silence…disappointed when the spam email or text from the ‘wrong’ person pops up?
Forced yourself through your day…setting time spans…in between those psychotic trips to check your phone for a text or missed call?
Had that moment where everything that other person says…is exactly what you wanted them to say?
Found an old ticket stub or credit card receipt from a date that was weeks or months ago….and smiled?
Started texting ANYONE AND EVERYONE in your address book…just trying to take your mind off someone?
Taken a nap to try to get someone off your mind…only to dream about them?
Have you ever been stood up?
Gotten your hopes up and built someone up so much in your head, and then you actually go out on a date with them…and realize you’re not really feeling it?
Have you ever made a list of attributes that the ‘perfect’ person would have….and then meet someone that has them?
Have you ever watched someone go out with someone else…because you were too afraid to ask them out yourself?
Have you ever just walked up to someone, told them how amazing their eyes/smile/look was…and then walked away?
Have you ever wanted to throw up or die….instead of walking the 15 feet across a room to say hello to someone who caught your eye?
Have you ever stayed in a relationship…while secretly wishing you’d have had the guts to end it and chase after someone else?
Have you ever sat alone…at home…on a Friday/Saturday night…and just f*cking enjoyed the silence?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought, “Wow…I’d really like to date someone like that…”…but decide they’d probably just be too much work/drama/maintenance?
Have you ever woken up next to someone in bed and thought, “F*ck….why am I here?”…..Again?
Have you ever let someone go…and been happy for them when they ended up with someone else….who actually made them happy?
Have you ever wondered if you were actually MEANT to be alone…for now?….forever?
Have you ever been happy just being single, but then….meet someone…who you can’t get out of your head?
Have you ever brushed hands with someone and felt a spark?
Have you ever gotten butterflies just walking next to someone?
Have you ever listened to someone b*tch about their significant other….while you secretly wished they were with you?
Have you ever ignored an advance of a friend…because you were afraid to risk a friendship for love?
Have you ever wasted an entire lunch break trying to write a text to someone…only to change your mind and not send it?
Have you ever been blown off?
Have you ever risked embarassment to tell someone exactly how you felt about them?
Ever do that and have it end terribly?
Ever wish you could turn feelings off forever and just have sex with someone…anyone?
Ever wished you could just catch one more hour with someone you’re no longer with?
Ever wonder what might have been…if you hadn’t done that thing…or gotten so upset about that one stupid thing someone did to you that one time?
Ever just wish you could turn your damn brain off?
Have you ever been strung along?
Ever been used?
Have you ever been cheated on?
Have you ever been walked away from?
Ignored….like you didn’t even exist…by someone who used to claim to love you?
Have you ever dated someone, but secretly wished you were with their best friend?
Have you ever just wanted to f*cking scream?
Have you ever fell in love at first sight?
Have you ever gotten excited because someone remembered your name?
Have you ever had someone run up to you excited to see you…and have no f*cking clue who they were?
Ever meet someone’s parent…later in life..and have them tell you all about how much their kid talked about you in high school…and realize you had no idea who they were?
Ever wish that one person…in school, who you ignored/teased…you would have just taken a risk and asked out….to hell with what your friends would have said?
Ever wonder what the f*ck is wrong with you, when you seem to have a ton of good friends and people who care about you, but you’re still f*cking single?
Have you ever given up?
Have you ever heard a song….and thought of someone and cried?
Ever heard a song, turned that f*cker up, and scream the lyrics in the car as loud as you could…cause you were finally free?
Have you ever rolled over in bed and reached for someone who wasn’t there? And never was going to be again?
Have you ever woke up afraid…and have someone there to cuddle up with to make it better?
Have you ever wished you were deaf to escape incessant b*tching?
Have you ever thrown something at someone?
Ever had to duck dishes being chucked at your head?
Have you ever been sitting in the middle of a giant pile of ‘Everything is F*cked’…and thought…’I'll get through this’?
For the Ghost….We’re out…
Ghost: Gonna call you when I get off work.
Lost Demon: ok i will be waiting
Ghost: Your reply should have been….Yes, my master. Like Darth Vader.
Lost Demon: yess masster
Ghost: No…It’s…Yes, my master. Vader…not Igor.
Lost Demon: vader i am your son
Ghost: Quit trying to argue. I said LIKE Vader. That’s how Sith address their masters…jabroni….and f*cking use some punctuation while I’m at it!!!
Lost Demon: i was pulling a movie quote in reverse. luke i am your father? yes, my master
Ghost: Better, now try some Caps too.
Lost Demon: Yes, my master
Ghost: Period. Use the damn period!
Lost Demon: YES, MY MASTER.
Ghost: Too much capitals…now you’re yelling. Dumbass. Try again.
Lost Demon: Yes, my master.
Ghost: There you go. Much better.
Lost Demon: x facepalm x
Ghost: You’re gonna think Facepalm when I use the Force to reach through the phone and smack you in the back of the head.
Lost Demon: Haha
Ghost: Little punk…wait til I see you next…
Lost Demon: x gulp x
Lost Demon: i have no idea on how to respond
Ghost: Try using correct grammar and punctuation.
Lost Demon. Ok I will.
Sigh….kids…eventually, you have to turn over the keys to the stardestroyer….
Hey there, Ghost fans…Have a riddle for you…
So, a white guy, a black guy and a Mexican all walk into a sportsbar to watch game 7 of the World Series…The bartender asks, “What’ll it be?”….So he looks at the white guy, and the white guy says, “I’ll be drinking a Guinness for every run my team scores tonight, but start me off with one now!”…He looks at the black guy, and the black guy says, ”I’m downing a Captain and Diet Coke for every strike out our pitchers get tonight, but start me off with one now!”…He looks at the Mexican, and the Mexican says, “Give me a Pacifico, and I’ll do a shot of tequila at the top of every inning for good luck, because my team is getting a title tonight!”….Which one is the Cub fan?
So, Ghost has been sucking it a little bit on here….for that, I will not apologize.
I’ve been pretty damn tired here recently. Have some good days, have some bad ones. The days where I don’t type a lot are better, so I’m going to have to shorten up my posts, or post less often.
I’ve decided to channel some of my creative juices and finally write the book that I’ve wanted to since I was about 17. Maybe work on two at the same time. Look for something in the fantasy/sci-fi/zombie genre. Who knows what’ll come out of my head.
Figure out that riddle yet?
So, the white guy…not the Cub fan.
The black guy…not the Cub fan.
The Mexican….also, not the Cub fan.
It’s the bartender. Seriously…Any REAL baseball fan would have called in sick for Game 7…and a Cub fan would never need to call in for a World Series game…let alone a game 7.
Go Redbirds! Defending Champs. Quit talking smack Cub fans…Especially when you’ve got nothing to brag about.