Howdy Ghost Fans,

First order of business….The Succubus dislikes her nickname…so, she’s being renamed.

This is permanent…and irrevocable…(unless I think of something that I find more humorous, or that pisses her off even more.)

From here going forward, she will now be known as:

She Who Must Not Be Named…or SWMNBN.

My oldest was a huge Harry Potter fan.  I managed to plan a family vacation one year and didn’t realize that the midnight release of the “Half Blood Prince” was going to happen while we were out of town.  I called the local Borders near the hotel, and the manager slipped me a bogus number in line, AND gave me one of the special Harry Potter boxes that they receive the books in.  I tore some resume paper and tied it with a red ribbon and wrote him a note from Harry Potter and set the box out on our balcony.

When he woke up, I told him an owl dropped it off.  He was pretty geeked about it.

(Go shop at Borders.  They take care of their customers. )

So anyway, she gets her nickname from the main evil character in the Harry Potter series.

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Next order of business….I am truly losing my ever-loving mind.

Subzero is my boy…and when I’m worried that I’m slipping a belt, I usually chat with him.  Our text convo went sort of like this:

Subzero- What’s up, Manwhore?

Ghost – Well, I have a few ladies hollering at me, I’m sitting at work making double-time…and there is almost no work to be done, my kids are awesome…can’t really complain.

SZ- That’s cool. Ghost is the man with the ladies…Haha.

Ghost- I’m feeling the need to do something stupid..or just hide for like three weeks at home and play video games.

SZ- Lmao…do both.

Ghost- I really think I’m losing my damn mind..like EXTRA Ain’t Right.

SZ- Haha

(Not exactly what I was looking for, but it made me feel better….it really isn’t advisable to encourage me to do something stupid….Dark Side and Pathos are cooking something up….it could be amazing….could be stupendously idiotic…)

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Prodigy: This work, school, whole “do something with your life” is a real conundrum.

Knight: Yes, do we do something honorable/noble…do we search out our “calling” as intended by our creator?

Prodigy: Or do we research job fields that we hold talent in that have excellent employment opportunities emerging?  Do we go back to school to get a special certification or retrain to do something completely different?

Knight: We can’t let the Emotional One decide…and letting Dark Side plan our future is like putting a drug addict in charge of guarding the pharmacy…

Prodigy:  How do we decide?  We have a good job, but we really aren’t being challenged.  We could be earning so much more doing something else…or doing something we love to do…or something we’re good at….or something we’re good at AND love to do….or something that just pays us A LOT OF MONEY THAT WE HATE…OR…OR…OR….

Dark Side (Sliding in, cuffs Prodigy in the back of the head): Go sit down nerd…before you have a melt down.

Prodigy wanders off muttering to himself…

Pathos: Well, I think we should…

(Interrupting, Dark Side and the White Knight both say simultaneously) WE KNOW WHAT YOU THINK WE SHOULD DO!!!

Dark Side: (Sarcastically)Follow our heart…to our calling!

Knight: The problem is friend…there are five of us up here…we’re all good at different things…enjoy different things, WANT different things….selecting the ONE path for all of us is difficult.

Dark Side: Throw in this whole “One woman at a time” policy that Ghost makes us adhere to, and now we’re forced to try to pick out a career path AND settle on a broad!

Pathos:  It really is difficult…there are so many choices.  If we settle for one now, what if we meet someone in a couple of weeks?  What if we wait too long, and lose out one something with someone now?  What if…what if…what if….

Dark Side: (Smacking Pathos in the back of the head) Go sit down, Romeo….before you get your tights wadded up in a bunch.

Pathos wanders off muttering to himself.

Knight: We have to keep our wits about us…lest that foul git Everto strike again.

Dark Side: I know.  We have got to get a f*cking plan in place though.  Those two are going to wind themselves up until they pop.  You got any ideas how to sort this out?

Knight: Not at the present, my shadowy motived colleague.

Dark Side: Not sure if that was a compliment or insult…but I’m letting it slide, Goody-TwoShoes.  Let’s start compiling a list of stuff we might want to do, and then we’ll research some jobs we might enjoy doing…..

Knight: Wait…did you just say, “Start compiling a list of stuff we might want to do” in reference toWOMEN with which we may wish to pursue a romantic interest, you amoral cad?!?

Dark Side: Quit getting tangled up in the semantics. Broads to do. Women to date…same thing.

Knight: You sorry excuse for a man…I’ll not tolerate this out of you further.

Dark Side: Dammit, Vagina Avenger! Can we focus on the tasks at hand?

Knight: Was that another snide, underhanded shot at describing fondling breasts?

Dark Side: That’s it! I’m f*cking you up!!!

(Dark Side and the Knight start brawling….while behind them in the corner…in the shadows…a figure slides out of view…)

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Shut up! Shut up!! Shut the ever-loving f*ck up!!!  Dammit!!!!

I want some Taco Bell…softshell supremes…with Verde sauce…

I need a nap…and a shower…a bowl of cocoa pebbles sounds good…maybe watch some Archer re-runs on Netflix?  Maybe I’ll play some Call of Duty with Subzero…shoot some mofos?

I need to do laundry..Gotta get those damn taxes handled in the morning…and get the oil changed…and put that damn wheel tax sticker in my window…and dammit, dammit, dammit!!!! I’m melting down here….somebody smack in the back of the damn head, please???

Ghost out…

Comments
  1. Jeyna Grace says:

    OH yes, borders are very customer oriented.

  2. Mollee wood says:

    Smack to the back of the head

  3. Tonya qualls says:

    Funny there are days that I feel like this.

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