Howdy Ghost fans…
So, as y’all know…been single since New Years. Been out on some dates…tried the online dating thing…
(Yeah…Ghost ain’t wearing no jacket, nor sipping wine on a date….whiskey on the rocks or Guinness, please!)
Started noticing some things, and upon huddling up with some of my boys, I think I have some pearls of wisdom to share…or something like that.
Item number one: WE GET IT….YOU’VE HAD CHILDREN!!!
Seriously ladies…I know that I’ve covered this previously. But, damn. Enough already.
No need to put “Mommy of 5″ or “TraesMommy” in your online profile name.
No need to tell us that they’re your number one priority…if you’re a sh*tty mom…we’ll figure it out…if you’re a good one…we’ll come to that conclusion as well.
(This MG is pissing me off today…both hands, curling up, only 100 words in…Grrr….)
Anyway, back to the point. Who the f*ck are YOU? What do you like? Honestly, I can do the first five minutes of the movie Cars, and parts of G-Force by heart…but that isn’t going to get me a second…or even a first date for that matter.
Enough already. Stop the madness…cause in a maximum of 15-18 years…your kids will be grown, and who will that leave? THAT’S who will get a date….or in some cases..won’t.
(NOT…a good online dating profile pic….EVER…just saying…)
Ever heard the expression, “Get a life.” Seriously…figure out something that you like to do. You have to have a personality aside from mommy.
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Item number two: Be Aggressive, Be, Be Aggressive!!!
I particularly see women in the 29-42 year old range missing the boat here.
Ladies, it’s a different world out there now. You have to adapt…evolve, so to speak…or you’re going to be lonely….real damn lonely.
If you haven’t snagged a man by 30, it’s time to get off your ass and make it happen. Men are taught from a very young age to hunt and pursue…which is fine…when you’re 24. But now….there are far fewer men hunting.
(Ghost, a REAL man would pursue me, because I have a lot to offer, and I don’t want some wimpy guy that I have to chase.)
Well, my dear….that’s the kind of thinking that will have your dates ending with a receipt from WalMart for batteries for your Nightstand Boyfriend.
(Congratulations! You’re still single!!!! Mom….UrbanDictionary.com the phrase Battery Operated Boyfriend…I’m not explaining this one.)
Men are hunters. The ones who picked off good women in their early/mid twenties, are off the market. The young 22-26 year old males…are busy picking off the single, young, childless, 22-26 year old women. They’re gone. Men who are older than 26, are statistically more likely to have been married, or have kids. Some are off the market because they ARE married. So your new target group is men over 26, divorced/with kids or never married/with kids….(the guys up to about age 35 without kids…are still getting under 26 ladies action…)
Your problem…Men over 26 have matured…and they don’t NEED to hunt…when the fish jump in the boat, or the deer line up at their back door…there’ s no need to chase…you just sort and select.
Yes, really. It does happen. These guys don’t put up with bullsh*t, and they know that they’re in demand. THEY get to pick and choose now….don’t believe me, hit your Facespace page. Look at your newsfeed.
Count the number of women who are saying this:
“Guys suck”, “I want a REAL man”, “Why are there nothing but assholes out there”
Then, count the number of women saying this:
“How does a girl choose? So many wonderful men have been asking me out!”
I’ll wait…..you’ll be counting for days on that first one. Bahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!
Where have all the good ones gone, you ask? Easy…they’re busy sorting through all of the texts, Facespace messages and online dating emails to try to figure out which of the dozens of chicks messaging him ISN’T CRAZY.
(Ghost, you’re full of it.)
Bet me and lose.
(Ari sez: Look woman…I can get you a role as the Grandma, but seriously….you’re so old, you can’t even play the hot mom now….I don’t make the rules, that’s just how it is…these young b*tches are competetive!)
Your problem is two-fold.
One, the 22-26 year old males aren’t looking up at you….so fewer guys.
Two, the 22-26 year old FEMALES ARE LOOKING UP at the men.
Especially the ones with kids.
Everyone knows that men are “immature”. So the natural conclusion is to look at men a little older…ones who’ve had a chance to settle into a career, or who have rebounded from a layoff or downturn in the economy with their education/experience. If they’re older, they’ve certainly got to be better than men their own age for these young girls, right?
Well, these young girls….aren’t waiting for a man. They’re going out to find one. So, you may very well be a beautiful lioness….but these wildcats are going to back your king of the jungle.
(You saw what happened to Ursula….that young chick got the man…..So did, Cinderella….and Snow White….and every other fairy tale princess…..If you’re getting older….you had better be nice, persistent and hot doesn’t hurt.)
More competition for your age bracket of man + a smaller supply means you’re going to have to fight for it.
(Yeah…kind of like that….unless you like dating the dumbass rejects who are better left out of the mating gene pool collective….)
(Yeah…like this guy….No effort, will totally land you this guy!)
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Item number three: Ladies, sometimes it ISN’T too good to be true…but sometimes it is.
(Okay, Ghost….what in the blue hell are you talking about?)
Let me explain:
If you meet a guy, and he seems like Prince Charming, the first thing that goes through your head is:
“Where’s the catch?” or “How long can he keep this act up?”
It’s only natural to doubt. Here’s the problem:
The nice guys won’t wait around for ever. The ones faking it, will slip up.
So if you meet a nice guy, don’t be afraid. Just proceed with caution. Spend time with him, talk to him. A nice guy will stick around as long as things are moving forward. A dog..will eventually try to push the pace. Occasionally you’ll meet a player who’ll work you for a really long time. They typically will have long breaks in their contact with you, and/or have “jobs” that make them work long hours or force them to travel.
A few of my very good friends….great guys….very eligible, good jobs, no drugs, nice houses, very stable…get frustrated as hell with women. They ask them out, and get put off, and put off, or stood up….sometimes with good and valid reasons. Eventually, they’ll delete your number and forget you exist. While you’re busy trying to devise a scheme to “test” whether he’s really a nice guy or not, several other women are contacting him regularly….one of those girls….is going to end up with this guy.
Basically, if you find a guy who seems nice….you better get on it. Just proceed slowly. Don’t go moving in, or moving to live with him or any of that other whirlwind romantical crap.
Quit asking for a Real Man/Nice Guy, and then treat him like crap. He’ll move on.
(While you’re busy thinking, ‘Is he for real?’, that other woman is thinking, ‘Should I wait to blow him until the second date? I’m not letting him get away!!!)
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Finally, QUIT F*CKING BITCHING ABOUT HOW HORRIBLE MEN ARE.
It will infect your thoughts, and affect your actions.
Get over the last boyfriend/husband/booty call, whatever, and get a clean slate. If you hang onto that old hurt, it will stand in between you and a new guy.
Your social circle, isn’t that big. I promise. You bitch in front of one guy, I guarantee, that his buddy hears about it. You post that crap on Facespace….and every eligible guy in your immediate area will shift you into the “Don’t bother” category.
(GOD, MEN SUCK!!!!! WHY CAN’T I GET A DATE?!?!?!?!?!?!)
That’s about all I got…my damn forearms are even tired now. (Piss off MG!!!! Piss right the hell off!!!!)
Ladies. Take off the mommy uniform….it’s okay. Be assertive and to the point, if you like a guy, f*cking tell him. He’ll appreciate it…trust me. And quit bitching about US. We hear you…and we’re pretty sure you’re talking about all of us. Even if you’re really only bitching about the retards that you decide to date…because you’re an idiot….or just that you’ve got a thing for bad boys….which is dumb…because…
Just like you should never try to make a ‘ho’ into a housewife…..a bad boy ain’t reforming for any girl….except his daughter. Write that sh*t down.
(Some don’t even change for their daughters….)
Ghost out…
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Catch up with more Ghost on Twitter @TheGhostLife
and email Ghost at Irish.Ghost28@Gmail.com
So, on the outside looking in, I thought I might make a point: do these women realize, that by posting photos of them with kids around could subject them to pedophiles? I mean, you could seduce a mother of 5 AND get your chance with her spawn, if she trusts you. Off color, I know, but half serious. Maybe I have seen too many episodes of “to catch a predator”.
I’ve made that exact point on other blogs. Your kids aren’t dating…don’t use them as bait. If you don’t have photos of you without your kids, that should be a sign that you need to get out from time to time.
Equally annoying is women who post pics of their car or a motorcycle, or a beach or mountain they visited. Knock that off, and put up a pic of you. If you’re not happy with how you look, go hit the gym, but posting old pics or specifically angled shots to hide something is equally bad.
want what you have, do what you did