Howdy Ghostfans…
Well, they say that inspiration is 99% perspiration…or something like that…
Or maybe it’s: Inspiration is like a lightning strike…never the same place twice?
F*ck it. Anyway, ideas kind of usually hit me like bugs on a windshield…tons of them…usually small, insignificant…but occasionally…SPLAT!!!…a giant sack of bloody innards bombards your viewport!
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(Oooooooh!!!….Lightning Bug ass on my windshield!)
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So I was thinking….Everyone always says that, “There is someone out there for everyone.”
The implication being that “Happily Ever After” is just a couple of Whiskey & Cokes and a lucky drunken rendezvous away.
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(Bahahahahhahahahahahaha! What does our friend Shrek say?…What A Load O’ Crap!!!)
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This idea of a Soul Mate…interesting. Your one true counterpoint…wrapped up in a person who you want to have sex with forever. Oh, Scarlett…please be mine?
(I want one…)
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BUT…They say life is all about balance, right? Yin and Yang. Fire and Ice. Hookers and Blow.
What if…the opposite is also true?
What if…the Anti-Soul mate exists?
Hell on Earth vs. Heaven on Earth
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What the hell is a “soul mate” anyway? Then we can try to figure out what it’s opposite would be.
Wikipedia…that fantastic online treasure trove of all things encyclopaedic..says this:
Plato…blah, blah, blah…beings with four arms and legs….blah, blah, blah, genitals….blah, blah…together rivaled the powers of the Gods, blah, blah…Zeus split them…It is said that when the two find each other, there is an unspoken understanding of one another, that they feel unified and would lay with each other in unity and would know no greater joy than that.
Damn. Well, if you were originally made as one being…kind of hard to have an opposite.
So, I guess we’re going to have to imply a spiritual type of meaning on all of this nonsense. You aren’t literally two pieces of flesh. But someone who when you meet them, it’s magical. A feeling of unity that brings no greater joy.
So, I guess your Anti-Soul Mate would be someone who brings you Unending Misery, and you can think of nothing else but getting away from them.
(Might have dated a couple of these actually…)
Sh*t, now there’s a thought. What if there’s more than one?
Like a damned, Choose-Your-Own-Adventure book!!!
Option A —-Crazy, Makes your life hell!
Option B —-Clingy, Makes you want to jump off bridge!
Option C—–Mystery, Could be the Soul Mate…might be Option A & B combined!!!
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(Met one of these lately?)
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So, the next time you start jibbering about “There’s someone out there who’s perfect for me!”….just remember…there might be a dozen or more who are perfectly AWFUL for you lurking about as well!
BEWARE THE ANTI-SOUL MATE!!!!!!!
Ghost out…
Haha! Nicely done. I’d like to think Anne Coulter is my Anti-soul Mate…or maybe Honey Boo Boo’s mom.
(Shudders at the thought of H BB’s mum…) Ghastly…
I never utter the “someone perfect for me” BS.
It’s dangerous.
What the Hell is perfect anyways?
If you ask me, perfection is overrated, but that’s my pessimistic two cents.