Let's just say, shooting guns is my new favorite thing. It's awesome. Growing up in Texas, I've shot a few guns on farms with friends (a 12 gauge, a 410 sawed off shotgun, and some other gun I can't remember when we went dove hunting). That was fun and all, but nothing compares to the feeling of shooting machine guns.
Howdy Ghostfans…
If you’re not a UFC fan, you probably could care less about this article. However, I’m going to write it anyway for the 7 to 135 people who may read it.
Bones vs. Hendo…well…it ain’t happening. If it does, it may be sometime next year. For those of you who may not know, and for those who might have forgotten…Jon Jones is the current UFC Light Heavyweight champion.
Before you can understand exactly what happened, and how significant this event is…here’s some backstory:
Via Wikipedia:
Jonathan Dwight Jones (born July 19, 1987), known professionally as Jon Jones, is an American mixed martial artist from Endicott, New York. He is the reigning UFC Light Heavyweight Champion.
Jon Jones, the youngest UFC title holder in history, entered the organization after fighting professionally for only four months. In May 2012, he was ranked as the number one light heavyweight fighter in the world by various media outlets, as well as the #3 pound for pound fighter in the world. He is currently ranked the #2 pound for pound fighter in the world according to ESPN.
THE YOUNGEST UFC TITLE HOLDER IN HISTORY!!! Almost an understatement here. This guy stormed onto the scene and pulled the rug out from under well established guys, who had fought and scrapped to get their shot at the title. This guy comes to town with very unorthodox striking (spinning elbows and back kicks) and a freakishly lanky physique, which gives him a very looooooong reach. In the striking game this is one thing…but as far as submissions go, he can apply certain holds from very odd angles because of that extra length. Talented as the day is long, and the sky is truly the limit for this young man.
Trying to get inside his reach is trouble….once you get in there, he can tie you up like an octopus and choke your lights out…
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Why it isn’t Dana White’s fault:
Dana White is the mastermind behind the UFC. A completly outlawed and bankrupt concept here in the States, this guy makes rule changes to protect the fighters and to get the legal sanctioning bodies to approve the sport, and with the aid of his financial backers, he has built the modern gladiator combat arena for the masses.
Dana cusses and swears and calls people out publicly. And the fans love him for it. In an age of political correctness and blantant lies and bullsh*t from our politicians, bosses, law enforcement, etc… This guy will just drop an F-bomb and tell you exactly what he thinks…like this:
* “Hell, forget about college. I barely finished high school.”
* “I don’t need a bunch of idiots out in Wall Street – who have no idea what they’re talking about and don’t know anything about this business – telling me how to run it.”
* “Who really gives a ##### at the end of the day what the financials are? I want to talk about the next fight. Who does everyone want to see fight, why do we want to see them fight?”
For Dana, MMA and the UFC is what HE is. He runs the best MMA organization on the planet, and is arguably one of the biggest fans. Which is why he was completely floored by the events of the last few days.
Back to Jon Jones’ career… He went pro, and started fighting in smaller promotions….in April of 2008…over the next three months, he’d fight six times…and win all six. Knocking out or submitting EVERY opponent. The UFC called, and with only a TWO-WEEK notice, he was an injury replacement on a UFC Pay-Per-View.
This guy gets his title shot in March of 2011, AS AN INJURY REPLACEMENT, and wins. He goes on to take out the next three opponents the UFC throws at him. He was scheduled to fight Dan “Hendo” Henderson on September 1, 2012, but Hendo goes down with a tear in his MCL.
Dana White gets the news, and scrambles…no one will fight Jon “Bones” Jones on 8 days notice….save one man…Chael Sonnen.
This guy is arguably the biggest trash-talking, asshole in the UFC…maybe even on the whole damn planet.
This guy is universally hated, and justifiably so. He gets busted for using performance enhancing drugs, charged with money laundering, and talked sh*t to the ENTIRE COUNTRY OF BRAZIL prior to facing the baddest man on the plant, Anderson “The Spider” Silva….who summarily kicked his ass after promising that Chael wouldn’t leave the ring under his own power, and that he’d be missing every tooth from his head.
But even this asshole recognized that this was an opportunity to cement himself in the record books, and SAVE a UFC event.
Even though Sonnen is a grade A douche…he was willing to fight. Hell, this prick offered to fight the same night. His reply to Dana was to the effect that he’d get on a plane right now and fight tonight if he was needed.
Clearly…Sonnen, is not to blame. Furthermore, Dana is in the clear, as he went to the cupboard and came up with a solution to keep this thing together.
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Why should we give a damn about Dana White and rich guys who are undoubtedly going to get paid off this event?
Simply…you shouldn’t. Nor should you care about Jon ‘Bones’ Jones wallet either. He just signed a deal with Nike. He’ll be just fine. He gets a cut of the Pay-Per-View shares as well.
Dude’s gonna get his $$$.
But this is such a big deal because:
People do this for a living. Not all the fighters on this card are wealthy. UFC fighters don’t work for the UFC. They don’t have pension plans, 401Ks or any guaranteed pay. They are independent contractors who get paid if they fight. According to Dana, there were about 20 fighters and about half a million dollars in prize money for them to earn. A lot of these fighters only get about three to four fights in a year. Here’s an idea of how the cash gets distributed:
Unofficial earnings from the last PPV, UFC 150
Pepsi Center – Denver, CO
Estimated Attendance: 15,008
Estimated Gate: $650,000
Donald Cerrone: $183,600 ($30,000 to show, $30,000 win bonus, $3,600 from Guillard for missing weight, $60,000 Fight of the Night bonus, $60,000 Knockout of the Night bonus)
Jake Shields: $150,000 ($75,000 to show, $75,000 win bonus)
Melvin Guillard: $88,800 ($36,000 to show, fined $7,200 missing weight, $60,000 Fight of the Night bonus)
Dennis Bermudez: $76,000 ($8,000 to show, $8,000 win bonus, $60,000 Submission of the Night bonus)
Benson Henderson: $60,000 ($30,000 to show, $30,000 win bonus)
Frankie Edgar: $51,000
Yushin Okami: $46,000 ($23,000 to show, $23,000 win bonus)
Ed Herman: $31,000
Nik Lentz: $30,000 ($15,000 to show, $15,000 win bonus)
Max Holloway: $12,000 ($6,000 to show, $6,000 win bonus)
Michael Kuiper: $12,000 ($6,000 to show, $6,000 win bonus)
Jared Hamman: $12,000
Erik Perez: $12,000 ($6,000 to show, $6,000 win bonus)
Chico Camos: $12,000 ($6,000 to show, $6,000 win bonus)
Justin Lawrence: $8,000
Dustin Pague: $8,000
Buddy Roberts: $6,000
Eiji Mitsuoka: $6,000
Tommy Hayden: $6,000
Ken Stone: $5,000
Some of those guys did pretty well…wait, here’s what UFC fighter Joe Lauzon had to add to this discussion:
Not only has this screwed over all the fans that bought tickets, non refundable airfare, took off work, made arrangements, etc… but think of all the fighters. Fighters that put in full camps, flew people in that helped them trains, etc. By the time I am actually fight, I spend close to 20k between corners, flights, expenses, coaches, etc…
Holy crap. That’s a lot of expenses…and then, they don’t get to work? F*ck!!!
Here’s where Dana weighed in on this:
It’s major, major deal. We lose a lot of money, money that’s already been spent. We’re eight days out. We’ve spent tons of money on this fight. How long and how far it goes and how bad it hurts I don’t know because it’s the first time we’ve done it. Many people, from fans to PPV distributors, TV networks, sponsors, and more importantly fighters who are working hard to support their families and build their careers are hurt badly by this…
Not only will these fighters be hurt, the damaged relationships with the sponsors and future events hosts (I.E other casinos and event centers) will potentially hurt future events draws and cash for fights purses. Aborting one show will send ripples and shockwaves through future events.
Going beyond the fighters….there are the people of Las Vegas to consider.
Las Vegas…where better than 1 in 4 people work in a service industry, is currently experiencing between 12.1 and 13.7% unemployment….depending on whose lies…cough, cough, erm, statistics you are using. So, with the holiday weekend and the UFC event, you can bet there were several single moms who were counting on tips and possibly some overtime or extra shifts from this event to make rent.
So this is a world class clusterf*ck. People are going to be hurting from this.
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So Ghost, get to the f*cking point here….Who’s to blame?
Shockingly…it’s simply the fault…of one man…and his trainer.
Jon ‘Bones’ Jones and Greg Jackson.
They refused to fight the replacement fighter, Chael Sonnen. Who was going to fight on 8 days notice…and move up 20 pounds to the next higher weight class. Jones had trained a full camp, and would be holding a significant reach and size advantage. But he wouldn’t fight.
He would toss out reasons, like there wouldn’t be a big draw, and his Pay-Per-View cut would suffer. Or, he just wouldn’t feel comfortable preparing for a new fighter in 8 days.
Since Chael Sonnen just was a part of the main event at the HIGHEST grossing UFC event EVER…I’m sure the PPV buys would have been there….hell, Chael…ever the trash talker, even volunteered to give his entire pay to Bones…just to get the fight. He said something to the effect of, I don’t need to fight you…I just want to kick your ass. I get paid a lot more than you, and if it’s money you’re after, it’s there.
I don’t know whether he was scared to fight Chael, or it was purely financially based….but either way, it was one of the most selfish decisions in sports in recent memory.
Said Hendo, his scheduled injured opponent:
“This is the first time that the champion wouldn’t step up and fight, and I was pretty shocked to hear that. It’s not like he’s injured. It’s unbelievable to me that he wouldn’t take that ‘the show must go on’ attitude. If there was any way I could have gone, and any way that I thought I could give myself a chance to compete, I would have done that.
Heal up, Hendo. The UFC fans want to see you back in action soon.
Sorry Chael…you just lost your title as Most Hated Man in the UFC…Guess you’ll have to start insulting a new country to try to get that back.
Jon ‘Bones Jones…for a guy who broke into the UFC on two weeks notice, and who got his title shot due to an injury pullout….you sure picked a fine time to start having a problem with it.
Ghost out…
Howdy Ghost fans,
First, trying to explain what goes on in my head is pointless….like a bag full of monkeys on LSD, playing Xbox, having an orgy, while doing physics experiments all at the same time…sh*t’s just all sorts of wrong up there.
However, for some of y’all, I thought I’d take a minute to describe the insanity that goes on here. Some rules to help you sort the information that y’all are receiving.
1) This is NOT a diary or journal.
-Sometimes I start writing something, and don’t like it. So it sits as a draft, until I decide to work on it again and “publish” it…(meaning, show it to you.) It may be something that I’m feeling/going through RIGHT at that moment, but it may be something that a friend of mine was talking to me about, or some sh*t I went through awhile ago…even years ago. If you feel the need to check up on me, do so. Don’t do so, because you read something here. This is not my conduit for help, a desperate plea for attention, or some secret glimpse into my head.
DO NOT READ THIS AND ATTEMPT TO USE THIS INFORMATION TO DETERMINE WHAT I’M THINKING ABOUT YOU.
Ask me. I’ll tell you.
Subpoint…don’t try to use this to determine how my dating life is going….or get some secret peek behind the scenes about how a date went. If I went out with you, again…ask me. Trying to determine whether or not we’re compatible or if I’m “digging” you, by breaking down what I’m writing will just frustrate you and usually lead you off the right track. (However, if you’re the kind of chick that is always trying to figure out what people are “really thinking” and not taking what they say at face value, you’re definitely the wrong chick for me.)
2) I am the only contributor to this blog. There aren’t more people who I employ/work with to generate this stuff. Ghost, The White Knight, Dark Side, Pathos, Prodigy, and Everto are all me. They’re kind of like different colored glasses. You put them on, and you see things differently. It’s still you, but you get a unique perspective on things. They’re all part of Ghost and the weirdness that is me.
Subpoint…Guestblogger Fridays, I will tell you that I’ve kidnapped someone, or straight up stole their blog and am republishing it. This is the only exception.
3) I have a condition called Myasthenia Gravis. It sucks. Basically, your immune system gets the idea that YOU are the bad guy….(which is partially right, because Dark Side and Everto put off definite Bad Guy particles.) But, what happens is this: the muscles that you control like your hands, eyes, mouth, arms, legs, etc… receive messages from your brain to move. Like little emails. Well, the little inboxes that get these messages from your brain, get attacked and damaged or destroyed by your immune system. So, the first time you do something the muscle does what it’s supposed to, but the more you do it, the more your body attacks these inboxes, and it gets more difficult to move that muscle, as the message isn’t getting through the way it should. What happens is a rapid fatiuge…meaning you get tired, real fast when you do repetitive sh*t.
The best part of this? It’s incurable….and it’s a process diagnosis. There are some tests that can confirm the presence of certain anti-bodies in your blood, but some people with the condition, never show up on the radar. To diagnose it, they have to rule everything else out, that LOOKS like it. When the doctors are completely done trying to figure it out….they’re like, Yep…that must be it….or like that one asshat…”You’ve just got stress…get better rest, eat better food, and it will go away.” Nice try retard. Everyone has stress. So, I’ve had MRIs, CT scans, Xrays, blood tests, these things where they hook up electrical currents to your muscles and stimulate them like a robot motor….
Treatment…Bahahahahahaha!!!! Yeah, they don’t have a f*cking clue what causes it…some theories, and some places on the web promise you a lot, but then you find out they’re selling supplements or other dietary aids, so they have a distinct interest in getting your belief in them….
I’ve researched this crap, and found pictures of people in wheelchairs, unable to hold their own heads up…people who walk to their mailbox in front of their house to get their mail, and that’s all they’re able to do for the day…it scares the hell out of me. I have four kids…I love to chase them, and do stuff with them. I don’t want them to be trying to change dad’s diapers because he can’t move while they’re trying to raise their kids.
Anyway, if you notice that I haven’t posted in a few days…this is probably why. I have good days and bad ones…lately more trying and difficult…but I’m a fighter, and I’ll go down swinging for sure.
4) I reserve the right to think, say, feel…whatever the hell I want. Feel free to present your side of the argument. I reserve the right to change my mind, or to keep my opinion. No hard feelings…if you can’t accept that, suck it.
That’s about it. If you have something specific you’d like to get my opinion on…or even better, you want to talk to one of my ‘other’ personalities, contact me:
Irish.Ghost28@gmail.com
Check me out on Facespace at http://www.facebook.com/TheGhostLife
or follow me on Twitzone @TheGhostLife
Peace out, Hookers!
Ghost out…
Howdy Ghost Fans…
Thought since I’d been getting these types of questions recently:
How many people help you write your blog?
Who is Pathos? Who is Dark Side?
How do you organize all of the people who write for you?
I figured that I’d explain.
It’s all me. Except sometimes on Fridays. Then I’ll say, I kidnapped someone and am reblogging their material.
There are 5 different personalities that make up the Ghost….yep, 5 different voices that run around up between my ears. They all have names: The White Knight, Dark Side, Prodigy, Pathos and Everto.
The White Knight is the good guy, the guy who plays by the rules. Dark Side is my inner bad boy…very into having a good time. Prodigy is my inner nerd, who can sit an talk about programming hearing aids and corrective hearing loss algorithms, and carry on debates about the possibility of time travel and worm holes. Pathos is my inner passion and sensitive guy…he pushes everyone…he’s the guy who believes in finding love. Then….there’s Everto….the demon. He’s the self-destructive asshole…mean, vicious….the inner self-doubt, the tormentor.
Well, I wrote introductory pieces for each of them awhile back…
Since today is May 4th, it’s appropriate on InterGalactic Star Wars Day to re-run Dark Side’s piece.
Enjoy.
Oh, Go watch The Avengers. The future Mrs. Ghost plays a major role, and the movie just f*cking rocks. The Hulk steals the damn show though. Puny little god.
Ghost out…
(If you were too dumb to figure it out…click on the funny colored words right above for the story.)
December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
What up, Ghost fans? I figured that I’d drop some back story for one of the characters that lives in my head. There will be some pictures for you dumb folk….Ghost’ll take care of you.
Now when I say, Dark Side, I’m betting most of you think this:
You’d be close…but not quite right…..
Vader had a secret apprentice…he’s the subject of the Force Unleashed Novels and video games. If you’re a die hard Star Wars fan…you have GOT to check these out. I’d also recommend the Legacy of the Force novels. They’re set way after the movies. Luke and Leia have grown up kids.
Then, shoot George Lucas a nasty-gram. Get off your lazy ass and make us some NEW movies. It isn’t like you haven’t got the material. Starkiller is a P-I-M-P. A confused good guy with bad guy powers…Oh hell, yes. A guy that you can root for….that hurls lightning, jedi-mind tricks his enemies into shooting their friends…or jumping off cliffs to their death. HELL YES!!!!!
(Say hello, to Starkiller…)
(You really should watch your step, Stormtrooper….dumbass. Mwuhuhahahaha!!!)
Vader kills Galen’s father following Order 66, and raises him to be his secret apprentice. Vader uses him to lure the early beginnings of the rebel alliance out into the open…to crush them. He betrays his apprentice one too many times though…and turns his power against the Emperor and Vader…he saves the Rebel leaders and as we are lead to believe…dies.
(But, wait…..who’s THIS badass mofo…with TWO lightsabers now?)
The second novel/game starts off at the cloning facility on Kamino….has Vader actually CLONED a jedi? Starkiller HAS been cloned! But he still remembers Galen’s past…and a woman..Juno Eclipse. He eventually breaks out and starts causing problems for Vader again. Returning for a head to head with the master….that and slaughtering everything in that damn cloning facility…including a bunch of almost hims. Besting Vader gives you the option of sparing his life….or killing him….however…
(Who wants some of this?)
If you opt to rid the galaxy of the Dark Lord….no, not that one…damn Harry Potter nerds…Vader.
You get to meet this guy:
The successful, EVIL, clone..the Dark Apprentice….and he runs you through with his saber and offs your girl.
Anxiously awaiting the thrid installment of this story.
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(Alright Ghost, what in the blue hell does this have to do with the guy who lives in your head?)
I was getting there, toolbox. Hold your diaper up.
One of the very first movies (and actually my favorite of all time) that I ever got to see in the theater, was Empire Strikes Back. It came out in 1980, but movies didn’t release like they do now. I live in the midwest…average size place…but movies could take a year or two to get here. It was probably about 1982, and I was geeked about Star Wars. We knew that Return of the Jedi was on the way. But I was only 5….and money was real tight. My dad had gotten let go from Giganticorp about a year earlier in a massive layoff. But my mom and I went and split a medium Cherry Coke and a Skor bar. I got that, because that’s what the BIG people got. I was definitely a BIG boy. I was going to go see Empire…come on.
Well, I remember the sky city and Vader appearing out of nowhere and catching Han Solo’s blaster bolts in his hand. DAMN!!!! Then, he makes the “Luke, I am your father” speech. I argued with my mom for hours. He’s the BAD GUY! He’s a LIAR!!!!
Of course, later in the final movie, Vader is redeemed. He tosses the Emperor down the reactor shaft to save his son.
This is why my character is called Dark Side. He’s bad….he can be really bad at times…but there’s good in there…and there’s a line he won’t cross.
(I may be a real bad boy….yeah…I’m definitely that…but……yeah…that damn nice man is in there too.)
Like Starkiller…he definitely has bad guy powers…he spits insults and sarcasm like no one’s business…but it’s usually deserved.
I think we’ve all been in that place where we’ve done sh*t we weren’t proud of….and Vader and Starkiller are like that…but in the end, they can be redeemed…and that’s what I have to believe in. There has to always be hope for a sinner…that he can change and be loved….because this guy has definitely done some bad sh*t…and I don’t want to be forever typecast as the villain.
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Hope that helps. Maybe you understand better…maybe not….
Dark Side rules….
Ghost out…
Yep….the Gay bar…..somebody find the Beast some glow sticks!!!
Howdy Ghost fans…
My posts have been a little underwhelming the last few days…a fellow blogger asked if I would be interested in writing a guest blog piece for her…I was honored and reworked a two parter to be posted this week here, to be featured on her blog. Stay tuned….
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Dark Side: Yeah…she just wanted someone to fill her blog spot for the day, so she could hit the town and Kat about with whatever man happened to promise to rub her the right way….
Prodigy: That may be true, but it is quite an honor to be featured on her page as she pulls about three times as many daily readers….plus then our blog will hang out on her homepage for awhile and continue to pull in new hits for us.
The Knight: He’s just pissy because she has more men lining up for her, then he has women falling about us.
Pathos: That is just sad that you can’t be happy for another person’s good fortune. You really need to do some self-examination Dark Side, and….
Dark Side: Shut your mouth, you whiny little emotional sap! Go back to your love sonnets and dreaming of your fairy-tale princess wedding, pansy.
<Pathos running off sobbing…>
Prodigy: You know that he’s just going to wait til you get hammered next and pass out, and then write ‘Big Meanie” on your forehead in permanent marker, right?
Dark Side: Smary Pants….did you just make a funny?
The Knight: That was actually pretty good…
Prodigy: Simple math. He has been hurt, so he would most likely seek retribution. Since he is non-violent, and enjoys his words so much, that is likely the method that he would use to settle the score. Lacking the true evil ability to dig down and come up with something really hateful to say, without Dark Side’s help, the insult would inevitably wind up being simple and nearly impotent…Therefore, I went with “Big Meanie” because it’s something that sounds like he would use when he’s upset, but would be completely worthless at actually insulting Dark Side….given that Dark Side wears his helmet nearly all of the time anyway, it would render the effort even more pitiful as no one would see it.
Dark Side: You aren’t allowed to talk around women, EVER again. You made a funny, which was good….but THAT explanation….would have killed any mojo we had working towards getting her into bed.
The Knight: Reluctantly…..It kills me to admit that I have to agree with Dark Side on this matter….that was brilliant, Prodigy…it really was…but the ladies usually don’t like such technical detail breakdown in your thought processes.
Prodigy: Piss off. Next time you two are trying to chat up an intelligent woman, like a doctor or lawyer, or really any professional woman with a vocabulary that includes any words with 5 syllables or more….I’ll let you pricks sink.
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Sometimes, I have to shake my head back and forth to get those guys to settle down and get back on track. As you know, the Ghost has been out on some “dates”. He’s been kicking it with the LDoC the past couple of weekends as well. I’ve decided that the less you know about our dates….the more likely it is that I keep getting them. So, you’ll remain in the dark about those. My kids rock. They have been killing me. The little one eats french fries in small nibbles, off to the side of his mouth and says, “What’s up, doc?” after every bite like Bugs Bunny. It’s cute for the first four or five times he does it….after that…you want to strangle the little sh*t. The little girl refers to the freckles on her cheeks and nose as her little friends. The 9 year old stole my damn green St. Pat’s Cardinals baseball cap…But, I can find comfort in the fact that the Succubus is a die-hard Cubs fan…and this affront will have to be tolerated in her home til hell freezes over…because DADDY’S favorite cap is now untouchable. Mwuhuhahahaha!!!! The little two immediately demanded their own……So next time I see them, a little Cardinal cap and a pink cap are going to have to materialize. Never mess with the Ghost….I plays for keeps!
Work is work. I’m grateful for the position. The pay is decent. The work isn’t hard. But, I’m wasting a ton of talent….Patience is not my strong suit. Getting an interview is very difficult inside the company, and I’m contemplating looking elsewhere. I work for a very big company…there is a lot of opportunity…but nothing happens fast here….ever.
I sat through this career development workshop, where they basically have their office flunkie read you a canned powerpoint presentation, word for word. Talk centered around setting goals, and realistically evaluating your skills and training, and then developing an action plan based around your personal life…What social activities and such that are important to you…..
Money. That’s why I work. Tell me about the opportunities that are projected to open up over the next three to five years…tell me what types of training/education that I might need to obtain to acquire one of these positions. My social life will fall in around my work. No job…no social life. No job…kids don’t eat or get clothes. Quit telling me how to set priorities in my life. Read my resume, talk to my supervisors, check my attendance and job performance….then get my info in front of someone who can help me get somewhere. THAT’S what I’m asking for!
Sigh….Deep breaths….
Which brings me to the point of this blog…I wasted a beautiful afternoon sitting in a windowless conference room for this. Time is running out on me. The world’s crappiest winter on record. Almost no snow. ….and an early Spring has my allergies in full blown snot river mode. Birds are chirping and waking my ass up, shortly after I get to sleep. Which means that sunshine and summer is right around the corner….. so long 60 and overcast…..that horrible sun will be here soon and we’ll be 90′s with 80+% humidity…..I guess I’ll just set my sights on September and the return of cooler temps.
You’ll have your time…you evil yellow orb of doom….but cooler temps will return…..they will…..
Stay tuned for St. Pat’s details and pics this weekend. Should be interesting…just got confirmation that Dirk will be in town, and that Vlad has just started on second shift himself…….might be getting in trouble with that guy this summer….after the sun goes down of course…
Call it a day….enjoy this weather…the heat is coming….
Ghost has warned you….
Ghost out…
Ghost is in the heezy….
(No, not that one.)
(Well, that’s probably closer…)
(Okay, I have no idea WTF that was about? Dark Side has really been getting into Rap/R&B March.)
So, I’ve been fielding phone calls from the Succubus on her floundering marriage….she asked me if I was ready to choke her…(so Dark Side offered to Force Choke a b*tch through the phone for me.)
Recently watched Empire Strikes Back….that mofo was choking the sh*t out of people in that flick!!! Great movies before Lucas started redoing them and milking every damn penny out of them…MAKE SOME DAMN NEW FILMS ALREADY!!!!! Jackhole.
But, it got me started thinking about the girls who used to be…I also had a pretty good back and forth with the first serious girlfriend that I ever had…way back in 8th grade. She is probably my favorite ex of all time. She did this video dancing to Beyonce’s Single Ladies, and put it on Facespace…..not a big deal right….she was like 900 months pregnant! Just getting down. She killed it. Her comments are spot on and always funny. Awesome chick. Her husband is a lucky dude.
(This was good Beyonce…but do it huge pregnant now! My former girl has skillz!)
Far too often though, I think we all focus on the negatives in a relationship…what went wrong, what annoying sh*t the other person did, how many times they lied, cheated, etc…
So, Ghost did some digging and came up with some lessons learned, or things that are still with him from some of his past relationships. Here are the top 5:
Since she’s been such a pain in my ass recently, we’ll get started with the Succubus. We were together for the better part of a decade. Whole lotta crap in there. Three kids and a catastrophic miscarriage to boot. But there were some positives that infected the Ghost…and still are present today.
5) Punctuality/Scheduling
Yes, The Ghost was notoriously horrible for his punctuality back in the day. I was a snooze-button hitting, last second dashing, fool. I was even late to our first date…in my defense…that damn stick-shift Jeep and the hour drive to get there PLUS the road construction was difficult. When you factor in that my RIGHT HAND was severely fractured earlier in the day…I should get some slack for that one.
But, now I routinely plan life out about 4-6 weeks at a time. (Keep that in mind if you’re trying to book Ghost for a public event…..or ‘private party’!
I’m almost never late to work…ever. I am usually about 15 mins early everywhere. Except on my birthday, where I famously hollered, “Are they gonna f*cking start without me?”
Back when Ghost got married the first time….he was almost late for the ceremony….yeah, a couple of my fraternity brothers, my little brother and I were all playing Twisted Metal 2 on the original Playstation….My dad was pacing like a longtail cat in a room full of rocking chairs….no….more like that Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland…”We’re gonna be late! We’re gonna be late!”
(Chill out, Pops….or Dark Side will Force throw you back down the rabbit hole!)
My reply was shockingly similar, “I’m kind of a key player there, Pops. They can’t start without me.”
Well, I can thank her for my punctuality in addition to the youngest three Little Demons of Chaos…and that large sum of money that leaves my check each payday. Sigh…
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The next ex, was the girl I dumped Faux-Beyonce for…I haven’t nicknamed her, but she is probably my second favorite ex. This girl spat sarcasm and sweated confidence. She was also the first girl that ever broke the Ghost’s heart.
4) Lesson learned on overcoming a broken heart
This girl was a year ahead of me in school, but for some damn reason, took a liking to the Ghost before his skills had completely developed. I was pretty good at football, but still I was a Freshman. My humor had to be what was carrying me. Because at this point, hormones had overtaken my desire to care about my GPA. As long as I was eligible to play sports, the grades were what they were.
This girl dumped me via the “Have a mutual friend tell you” approach. So every question you had got no answer. Then she was nasty as hell to me.
(I told you that soccer, SUCKS!!! Chicks with tempers can be trouble…)
Ghost was single for over a year after that. In that time, He got in some pretty good trouble with the law, settled down and got pretty serious with the sports, and learned how to be okay by himself.
This girl and Ghost took another spin briefly after graduation. I broke up with her after seeing her temper flare up at a party. Flashbacks to the previous dating period. She apologized, but I was gone…plus this other girl had started hollering at me….and we had some history….
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Which brings me to my next lesson:
Sequels rarely live up to the hype. In between my spins with the girl in lesson 4, I dated the Dingbat…..yeah…the whole time. I had a serious girlfriend all through high school from about halfway through sophomore year until Senior Prom….Where I got dumped for an older guy, with a job and a car, as opposed to my scholarship to college. The lesson….
3) If a chick is shallow to dump you for greener pastures once….she’ll definitely do it again.
Things were going pretty good for the Ghost his Senior year. Had college coaches calling, begging him to come to their school. Had a great football season, and was kicking some ass at track.
Backing up a bit….as previously mentioned…Ghost had been running with some less than ideal characters his freshman year and had gotten into trouble. December of his sophomore year, he started seeing this girl….by February had lost his virginity and started track. Football season had been good, but in the last game of the year, Ghost got a touchdown where he drug about 3 guys the last 5 yards and stretched the ball out over the goal line for the score….but the game ended when he leaped up for a pass and had it tip off his hands to the other team….who promptly ran it back for a touchdown. Not exactly a great ending for the season.
So, aside from “becoming a man”, he still had no damn clue what to do with his life. One moment made the whole difference.
The track coach busted Ghost’s ass in front of the whole team. I had been going about 1/2 to 3/4 effort. In one simple statement…the course of Ghost’s life changed.
(Now Ghost seriously….what could a coach have possibly said that impacted your life THAT much? Aren’t you being a bit dramatic?)
Not at all. The coach simply said this, and shook his head while looking down, “You know Ghost…if you actually TRIED, you’d be pretty damn good.”
It was all it took. I started working on my grades. My gpa came up by .50 points in the next 2 years. From a 2.6 to a 3.2 when I graduated…I still took my ACT drunk and got a 26….(Bad Ghost!)
Anyway, back to the point….
Our track team was kicking some serious ass. There were school records dropping like crazy, we were winning big meets. Stuff we weren’t supposed to be doing. We won the conference title for the first time since before any of us had been born. Got lots of cool pics in the paper…being the high/triple/long jumper, they loved those action shots.
(Good Lord, I used to love those Co-ed meets…..)
But…..I had quit working my senior year to focus on my grades and sports to try to land a scholarship to go to school. This didn’t sit well with the girlfriend who all of a sudden wasn’t going out on dates as much…..or getting gifts as much….and often times was paying for stuff that she wanted to do….
Ghost has Force powers…this is a fact. Senior Prom…Ghost’s powers were telling him something was very wrong….in the parking lot, before the after-prom party….Ghost got dumped. It was brutal. Right before the sectional qualifier for State….Ghost lost like 12 lbs that week….smoked his ankle in long jump, just missed qualifying for state in the high jump…and on the last jump in the finals of triple jump…got bumped down to third place, with that torn up ankle…he just couldn’t pull it out…..
(Now you’d think, after a crushing blow like this…you’d stay away from this broad in the future….yeah…nope….we got back together, got married, had a kid, and then….she did it again….left me for a guy with a bigger paycheck.)
Moral of the story….Ghost doesn’t do sequels in dating….ever again.
(YES!!!) (HELL, NO!!!!!!)
So how was this a good lesson…Oh yeah, forcus on the positives, right? Well, trust your gut…there! Always trust your gut. (And piss off for interrupting my blog, you whiny little twit!)
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The next lesson doesn’t come from any one specific woman….but, rather several…
2) A really good friend, does not a lover make
Ghost has on occasion…attempted to date women, who he got along with really well. I mean really well. Smart, funny, sometimes quite attractive women. The problem…..no spark.
(She’s thinking: I’m gonna marry this one….
He’s thinking: I really like her roommate…How do I get from here to there?)
Intelligent conversation, laughs, even heavy lusting…..just no, “Oh my God, this woman is on my mind constantly. I can’t get her out of my head.”
(So, what are you saying Ghost?)
I’m saying that you only have to screw up a couple of good friendships trying to “cultivate” a girlfriend, or grow a friend into a girlfriend, and you realize that it’s better to have good friends than turn them into the Ghost hating ex-girlfriends who experience Ghost withdrawal when you break up. It’s far better to not get them hooked on one of the most addictive substances on the planet.
(Oh, yes he did. Ghost just compared a break-up with him to a drug addict missing their substance of choice.)
(It’s not really their fault. Ghost is some potent medicine….they can’t help it…)
(That’s my story…and I’m sticking with it!)
(You just can’t sacrifice the second for a chance at love…just saying…)
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So, which woman gets credit for the #1 gift to the Ghost? Well, tossing out my kids…because frankly, they’re amazing, but I was at least 50% responsible for their creation. So what is the #1 gift aside from kids?
1) Return of my sense of adventure
This next girl helped bring Ghost back out of his shell following his second divorce. He’d been divorced about 18 months, when they met. Her name, ########. Yep, Ghost is still blocked on Facespace….still So she’s blocked here.
But, that doesn’t make her contribution any less important. I used to think that the “Drink a can of Coke to cure a hangover” thing was her too, but I found out that she got it from Ms. Voodoo.
This girl lives life a little differently. She bounces from event to event, just trying to have fun and enjoy life. For apparently no real reason, she’d find a coupon online, and we’d be at Italian/American fest. She’d find a deal on food from a certain restaurant, or a recipe, and bam….we’d be watching TV and trying new food. She drug the Ghost out to the first concert that he’d been to in 15 years, and actually got him to two the same weekend.
While house sitting for her, I got a picture of her legs, lounging poolside in Florida on her trip to the Bahamas….(yeah, it was cold here….it was really nice of her.) I took a picture of my legs on her couch, totally watching SportsCenter (which was banned in her apartment…as was Football, the UFC and Metallica.)
Sitting there, I grabbed a piece of paper and sketched the tattoo that would pay honor to my kids and my late father. Six weeks later…she and I had broken up, but that scrap of paper turned up in my coat pocket. Post break-up, I decided to have to the courage to do things that I had been hesitant to do. I took that drawing, marched into that tattoo shop…and Not Bill inked that bad boy up.
So, even though she wasn’t there, and still isn’t talking to me….she was there. Reigniting that sense of adventure in me that had gone dormant has spun off a couple of things. This blog for one….the next tattoo (stay tuned for details)….and who knows what else, but for these gifts from these now former Ghost lovers….and current recovering Ghost addicts….
I sincerely thank you, ladies.
Now, where is that next Ghost addict at? ;-)
Ghost out…
She’s a fickle beast…speedometer only works sometimes, the heater causes smalls wafts of smoke to come out from behind the radio, and she’s noisy as hell on the interstate….but I love her no less.
