Ghost fans…
Had a couple good days the last two days…still laughing when I get the hand tremors…
Thought I’d risk an upper body work out today. We’ll see how that works. Probably try to run some tomorrow.
Thought I’d share some stupid things that have come up in my life here recently.
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Ghost–”Why is she such a crazy b*tch?”
—Friend replies, “Do you know any ‘rational/logical ones’?”
Ghost– “Fair point.”
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At Work—
Ghost–”Here’s the phone, man.”
–Coworker, “Oh, I’m not using it anymore. But ‘Frank’ is.”
Ghost–”I was just in the office with him…why didn’t he ask for it?”
–Coworker, “Because he’s f*cking stupid.”
(Why yes, yes he is…certainly walked into that one did I.)
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On, Halloween, Ghost went as Will Ferrell’s character in Semi-Pro, Jackie Moon.
(THIS GUY!!!!)
This conversation happened with my mom, now keep in mind….that there was NO lead in to this conversation…It starts COLD, just like this:
“Hey, your Halloween costume is getting a sequel?”
Me — “What?”
Mom– “You know, that Will Ferrell guy that I don’t like? He announced he’s doing a sequel to that movie…you know..Anchorguy…Ron Jeremy?”
Me—(Literally rolling on the couch in a fit of laughter) “Oh sh*t, Mom! That’s totally going in my blog.”
Mom– “Why?”
Me– “Ron BURGUNDY, Mom. Ron Jeremy is a porn star…I went as Jackie Moon from Semi-Pro, anyway.”
Mom– “F*ck you. You knew what I meant.”
(Stay Classy, San Diego.)
(Stay Trampy, Everywhere else!!! Hey, Ghost..can you introduce me to that Snarky Kat chick?)
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Playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 online with Subzero….
Random (good) player… “Man, you guys suck! We completely dominated your asses. If I were you guys, I’d kill myself….that was pathetic.”
Ghost… “Well, sh*t for brains…I have a life outside of Gamerland…during our match I’ve been texting two different girls, I’m about to head out to run a couple errands, then I’m headed to a party later and maybe some karaoke. Have fun camped out in your mommy’s basement, spanking it to internet porn tonight. I’m out…”
Subzero laughing his ass off… “You told him, Ghost.”
Take two…
Random 14 year old (very good) gamer, “You guys are absolute sh*t! Do you even know how to play the game? You guys are the worst players I’ve ever seen.”
Ghost: “Well, Timmy…I worked all night at my JOB, I can’t play 16 hours a day to get as good as you are. Secondly, when your mommy makes you get off here in about 15 minutes to go to Soccer practice, she and I are gonna hook up at the motel, while she “kills time” waiting to pick you back up. My sex life also cuts into my game time.”
Random 14 year (very good) gamer: “Go to hell, Ghost.”
(About 20 minutes later…and after Subzero goes off and annihilates everyone…The kind of streak where all you hear, is “Sit your ass down. Did I say you could get up? I SAAAIIIIIDDD, SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, FOOL!!! Oh, Oh, Look out…Subzero kill cam!!!)
R14YO gamer: “Well, guys…I’m outta here. I gotta go to swim practice.”
Subzero: “Hey Ghost, does that mean you have to go to the motel now?”
Ghost: “Nah, I can probably play a couple more before I have to go rock his mom’s world.”
(Everyone else online laughing….R14YOgamer logs off, never says another word.)
(Subzero says, ‘Sit your ass down! And don’t piss off the Ghost! Ask that Garage Door! GOG,GOG,GOG,GOG!!!!)
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Ghost on the phone with his daughter…
Princess– “Daddy, I love you more than hot dogs and macaroni and cheese!”
Ghost — “Wow, that’s a lot.”
Princess — “And Daddy, I love you more than ice cream too!”
Ghost — “Wow, I love you too more than hot dogs, ice cream AND macaroni and cheese together!!!”
Princess — “Daddy, all that stuff together would be gross.”
Ghost — “Well, Princess…I love you more than video games!”
Princess– “Wow, Daddy…that is a lot, A LOT!!!”
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On the phone with the Little Demon Sh*t from Hell…
LDSH: “Daddy, why did the Easter Bunny bring me a Buzz Lightyear with no helmet? What is THAT? I was like…A BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!!! Wait, he has no helmet? What is wrong with the Easter Bunny?
(Ghost, having no idea with his mother and the Easter Bunny conspired to get him)
Ghost: It must be a special one?
LDSH: I just found a helmet and fixed it. Crazy Easter Bunny.
(Dad, I think the Easter Bunny’s been sniffing glue again…he brought me a Buzz Lightyear…WITH NO HELMET, WHAT’S UP WITH THAT????)
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Phone conversation with the 14 year old, Lost Demon…
Lost Demon: “So, I’m at school, and this kid calls me a fag in the hallway. He’s like, ‘Drama is gay…you fag.’ So I said, ‘Really? I get to sing and dance with GIRLS….and watch their boobs bounce up and down, you know…cause we’re dancing….while you get to go strip down to your underwear, and roll around with a bunch of hot sweaty guys. Who’s gay now?’”
(Ghost laughing pretty hard) “Well, buddy…that was a pretty good comeback. What did he say?”
LD: “Oh, nothing…about three weeks later he announced that he was bi-sexual.”
(Ghost facepalms) “In Junior High? Dear God, we were busy trying to figure out how to get into a girl’s pants in 8th grade…not deciding whose pants we liked being in better!”
LD: “Yeah, don’t worry dad…I’m not doing that stuff.”
Ghost: “Yeah…say what you want…but you know what’ll happen, right?”
LD: “Yeah, yeah….if you get a call from the the cops, the school, or some girl’s parents because I got arrested, my grades slipped or some girl is pregnant, you’re going to put your boots on, walk through some extra nasty stuff, and then put them so far up my butt that I’ll be able to taste what’s on the bottom of them.”
Ghost: “As long as we’re on the same page.”
LD: “Yeah, I got it.”
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At a house party, with Subzero, That Effing Girl and 1Nightstand…
Ghost: “Hey, Subzero…they have barbecue in there.”
Subzero: “I’m good.”
Ghost: “What? I said there’s barbecue in there.”
Subzero: “I’m good.”
TFG: “Why do you keep bugging him about the damn barbecue?”
Subzero: “Go ahead and tell her, Ghost. Why do you keep reminding me that there is barbecue in the house?”
Ghost (laughing): ‘Cause he’s black….hahahaha…”
TFG (Looking all serious and slightly offended): “Ghost, you can’t say that!”
Subzero: “It’s all good. He’s my boy…and since he’s see thru clear, he ain’t really white.”
Ghost: “I bet if they had some sushi your ass would be in there. What up, my NIN-JUH?” (Subzero is also Japanese…we call him Black-anese.)
Subzero: “Oh, hell yeah..I’d be tearing some sushi up.”
Ghost: “I ain’t right. I’m sorry y’all…I ain’t right.”
Subzero: “No…you aren’t. But that’s why we like you.”
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Well, I figure I’ll wrap this up. Supposed to be kicking it with the little terror trio this weekend. Should be interesting. So until next time…
Ghost out…
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