Posts Tagged ‘F-bomb’

Howdy Ghostfans…

You’re probably wondering where the f*ck I intend to go with that title…Hang with me…I promise it’ll be okay. ;-)

In light of all the recent hoopla in the States surrounding the impending presidential elections…I’m refusing to comment about anything remotely political at the moment.  I’ve more than stated my distaste for both juggernaut parties that dominate the U.S. government presently. 
     or    
(I really can’t see making Dumb and Dumber 3, but apparently Dems and Repubs do!)

 So, I thought I’d go international.  I’ve recently seen two pretty interesting stories surrounding…rape, actually.

(Rape…really Ghost? That’s better to talk about than politics?)

Yes.  Check this crap out:

Story number one:
http://www.heavy.com/news/2012/09/pregnant-turkeywoman-decapitates-rapist/

I don’t really get Muslim countries.  I really don’t understand how a man can blackmail a woman by threatening to reveal to a woman’s family that he raped her.

Try that sh*t at my house, son.

(This is what you WISH would be happening with that shotgun.)


(This more closely details what would happen….right before this happens:)


(Good jackals!  Feel free to start with the genitals!)

Anyway, kudos to her for shooting this man in the genitals, THEN decapitating his worthless ass.

Story number two:
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-20008347-10391704.html

If you were too lazy to click on that link, basically you’re looking at the female anti-rape condom.  It’s one part tampon, one part condom, many parts SHARP!!!

The basic idea is to deter rapists by the threat of serious penile damage.  I’m okay with it.  Not a bad start if you ask me.

There are those who call it barbaric, and actually plan to protest the drug stores that carry the item.

Are you f*cking kidding me?  For real?

This isn’t like lacing twinkies with a substance that nauseates the consumer to fight obesity…(although, there is a thought!)
     =    

This is about fighting back against usually bigger, stronger and violent individuals. 

Now to my Peace/Love/Dope readers…sometimes, the only language understood by individuals who perpetrate violence….IS VIOLENCE!

If the threat of losing one’s penis in a Vag-Trap, prevents even ONE rape…good…great…Mutherf*cking FAN-DAMN-TASTIC!!!!!

If you aren’t for this, you probably believe one of the idiots running for president on the red or blue ticket is going to make things better as well.

Ghost out…

What’s up, hookers?

DarkSide here.  Tired.  Hot…DAMN is it hot!!!


(That one’s for you, Subzero! HOT DAMN!!!)

Anyway, Mondays…Ghost you suck…seriously?  Why am I getting a writing assignment?  You want me to write about Mondays, here goes:

This particular Monday sucks because:
1) DarkSide can’t remember the last time we got drunk/nekkid and caused trouble.
     +          =    

                   Broads                                                                         Booze                                                             Pleased DarkSide

I’m not sure what conspiracy that the Knight and Pathos are cooking up, but keeping Ghost away from the Ladies and Liquor is killing us!!!!  Just go out and be a “little bad”….Please? Don’t make me MindTrick Prodigy and get Everto on board to go out hunting down rebel “spies” to “interrogate”.
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2) New job the past two weeks.  What really sucks is that I’ve been bouncing between shifts, and will make a second to first to third swing over about 4 weeks….I’m taking a lot of naps…however…being able to get into the office for extended periods and OUT of the damn heat is mighty fine!  Working on the Death Star can be rough, but being able to get away from the heat from the reactors makes the day go much faster.


(Many offices in the Death Star have amazing views…just be careful to not fall out the window!)


(I was, uhh…just checking the construction progress and craftsmanship…uhmmm…..)
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3)  Did I mention it was f*cking hot???
I need to get to the pool!!!!

(This would work!)

(Not initially what I had in mind, but hey….this would work just fine too!)
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4)  Entirely f*cking sick of politcal commercials and the endless nonsense on FaceSpace….
Bottom line…Republicans AND Democrats are the problem.  They both sell us out…just to different special interests.  Is Healthcare for everyone a good idea?  Of course.  But here in the good ole U. S. of A….we’re f*cking broke!  We have failing public schools, our elderly who depend on Medicare and Social Security are looking at floundering government programs, so now we’re trying to start up ANOTHER ONE????  One that adds not a single nurse, doctor, etc…but adds a reported 16,000 I.R.S. agents?

Ok, Obamacrats…tell me what flavor Kool-aid I have to drink for THAT to make sense?

(The Empire health plan is MUCH better…we just clone more troops…no healthcare necessary!)
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5) The White Knight snores, Everto mutters to himself all hours of the day, Prodigy leaves notebooks, pens, and science crap everywhere, and Pathos has been skipping around composing some love poetry or some nonsense all day…Why can’t a dictator get some good old fashioned debauchery accomplished in peace?

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There, suck it, Ghost.  Just so you know…I am beginning to plan a coup to restore the DarkSide Agenda…there have been far too few questionable decisions made on booze lately!!!  The people demand satisfaction…well, DarkSide does anyway…and that’s what matters!!!

Later, Hookers.
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Ghost out…

Howdy Ghostfans….

Been digging into my inner nerdling here lately…probably because I’ve been spending a lot of time around my 14 year old…Parts of my personality tend to resonate more prominently when I’m around certain people.

(Yeah, I know…some big words there…Resonate, Prominently…look them up retards…I’ll wait…)

(Okay Ghost, so what you’re trying to say is that you’re different around different people…doesn’t that mean you’re fake?)

No, dipwad.  What it means is that I am a multi-faceted person….sh*t….This conversation will take forever if I don’t dumb this down a bit….okay…There are many parts to me…and when I’m around someone, whatever we have in common tends to come out more.

For example, my oldest is into video games and science fiction…so, those parts of me that are the same tend to come out.  When I’m around my buddies who are into sports, my competitive side and that inner combatant/athlete come out.  When I’m around my engineer buddies we have debates over wormholes, dark matter and the possibility of time travel…and not just hypothetical crap…like detailed arguments that cover detailed laws of physics.

(Yeah, I know…I lost you…I’ll get to the point…)

I write from the perspective of one of my five “personalities”, because I am really like 5 people rolled into one.  SheWhoMustNotBeNamed routinely will ask, “Who am I talking to?”  She wants no part of DarkSide or Everto….but if Pathos happens to be nearby or even The Knight, they’ll be a sympathetic ear.

The biggest trick with me, is realizing that I’m not just one of those guys, but all 5 simultaneously.  It’s why I drink sometimes…it shuts them up.  Gives the dust some time to settle, and allows me to find a clear path to start out on.

So, you have to be careful when you ask me something.  Sometimes, you might not like the response you get.  This happens frequently.  I’m big on honesty.  I’ll usually warn you…You sure you want to know what I’m thinking?

I’d never have it any other way.  I have people ask me ridiculous sh*t from time to time…just because they know that I’ll think about it, and then give them a thoughtful, rational answer.

Like, ‘That dude is on something.  I don’t know what, but you might be better off without him.”

Or, “That b*tch is crazy, bro.  You need to boot that one to the curb and swear off it cold turkey.”

Or even, “No, I don’t care what he said…that reaction in bed is NOT normal for ANY dude.”

So, what frustrates me more than anything is when people let me down or refuse to talk to me.  It’s like this: If I did something, tell me.  Let me explain and correct it.

Don’t give me this, “You know what you did.” bullsh*t.

No, I don’t.  That’s why I’m asking.  Or even worse is when I just get the cold shoulder. If you’re expecting me to change something, and I don’t know what it is, THAT certainly isn’t getting it done.

I just start to think that you’re mental, and that I’m better off forgetting that you actually breathe air.  Which is sad, because I care about a LOT of sh*t…and people, that I probably shouldn’t.  People who blow me off.  People who ignore me.  People who frankly treat me like sh*t and talk about me behind my back.


(Go f*ck yourself…but if you’re on fire….sigh, I guess I’ll stop and put you out.)

But in the end, if they called me tomorrow, and needed something, I’d drop whatever was going and do my damn level best to help out…..That’s just who I am.  It’s how I always will be.

Almost everyone comes around.  Very few people hate me….even fewer actually have a legit reason to.

If you tell me that you want to get together, mean it.  When I call, don’t put me off. 

Frankly, I’m sick…and real damn tired…and that’s just from my neurological disorder…I’m not even factoring in the bullsh*t from friends and family…and those few enemies.

My new favorite is people who are offended…because YOU have a problem with what they say/do/post on Facespace, etc…

Well, if y’all post something I take offense to…I’m sure as hell gonna tell you.  The statement, “It’s my Facespace page, if you don’t like what I post, delete me.” is ignorant as hell.  You ‘invite’ someone to be a “friend” on that website.  That implies conversation and dialogue.  Those are TWO-way endeavors.

Not everyone will believe what you believe, nor will they always see things the same way.  A rational human being should listen when someone speaks.  It’s how we grow as humans…to consider the thoughts and feelings of others.  You can gain valuable insight this way.

Take this quote for thought:
“There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.”
P. J. O’Rourke

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/p/pjorour124944.html#0S8I2YJM6FtJBzJs.99

Well, you’re free to think and say whatever you want…but the consequence is the reaction.  I responded negatively to a few Facespace posts, and people seemed shocked that I’d be opposed to it…after all, it was just a joke.

I saw this one posted a couple times:
Now at it’s core…I’m not really completely opposed to this…however, there are several DADS who fill both roles…there are also Aunts, Uncles and Grandparents who get left behind to raise kids….so, just don’t post crap like this.  The point of Father’s Day is to honor good and great MEN.

This next one is the one that got me started:

Straight up inappropriate for Father’s Day weekend.  It’s not funny.  It’s not a joke.  It’s an attack against fathers who aren’t fulfilling their duties.  Not appropriate to post.  Give men 3 damn days to celebrate, please.  Lay off this sh*t from Friday to Sunday…then feel free to dead beat dad bash all you want.

Now, I know what you’re thinking…if it doesn’t apply to you, why are you so upset?  Someone even implied that I was reacting so strongly because I might not be as good a father as I ought to be.

You know what…I’m not.  I can always be better, and I work at it every day.  Being a good parent isn’t a title, it’s a job.  One that if you complete it properly, your children will leave your nest, and be successful individuals.  If you’re celebrating now, then you’re coasting.

The reason I react so strongly to this sh*t on Father’s Day?  Is because my father is gone.  One of my grandfather’s is gone, and I barely got to know but maybe one of my great-grandfathers.  This day is to pay respect to the men who are and have done their job in raising their families…not to roast the one’s who have/are f*cking it up.  So everytime you post something that detracts from the spirit of the day, you make the statement that men aren’t important in raising a child….that it’s more important to remind the world that there are bad guys out there.

The father who showed me what hard work and going to work sick and even hurting looked like.  To the grandfather who kicked my kindergarten ass in tic-tac-toe and showed no mercy, even though he was 50 years older than me.  It made me tough and want to work hard for the win.

I don’t care what anyone says…you NEVER see this kind of crap on Mother’s Day.  You don’t.  There aren’t carefully worded Jpegs that glorify the Dad’s who wear both hats, and there aren’t any, Happy Mother’s Day except for those crazy, drug addled whores, who abandon their children and leave them to the REAL men to raise.

That sh*t doesn’t happen.  Don’t try to play like it does.  And if someone does post something, it’s isolated and rare.  You don’t see dozens of people ‘liking’ the photo and sharing it.

The sad thing is that stuff like this next pic only popped up on my newsfeed once:

Something truly worthy of the spirit of the day.  Well, I’m posting it here, and I’m thanking every one of you bastards who’ve gone and served and missed birthdays, holidays, and yes…even Father’s Days…Thank you from the bottom of my heart.  You keep my little demons safe, and I that is a debt that I can never repay.

Some of these men DON’T come home, and I’m pretty sure those women would trade your f*cking Jpeg for THAT man any time of day.

So to you misguided souls who think it’s funny to bash deadbeats on Father’s Day weekend, knock it off.  It’s uncalled for. Use the other 362 days a year for that…for f*ck’s sake, it’s even a leap year, you can take 363 days this year for it.  Just leave our f*cking holiday alone.

To those of you moms who truly are on your own, your job is no doubt tough…you get yours on Mother’s Day.  I’m sure that somewhere in your lives, there is a man worth recognizing…make sure that your kids know what a good male role model is.  THAT is what the f*cking day is for!

Anyway, I’m done preaching…for now.  About 359 days, and I’ll start reminding you again.

Ghost out…

Howdy Ghostfans…

There seems to be some confusion about some details of the Ghost’s life…..so, I figured that I’d set out to clear my good name…..Bahahahahahahaha!!!!  Alright, alright….just to clarify what shenanigans I’m willing to claim….and present an admittedly one-sided and completely biased picture of myself….as fairly and unadulterated as possible….ok….I’m pretty sure that I’m pretty thoroughly adulterated, so scratch that last part….

Anyway, I’m a Browns fan…who drinks tea or hot chocolate at Starbucks when his friends want to go…

While I’m at it, I also am a Redbird fan…

a Washington Capitals Hockey fan…


And ever since that Goofy Charles Barkley got traded from the Sixers, I’ve been a Phoenix Suns fan…

I f*cking love Star Wars…

Starkiller, Vader’s Secret Apprentice               Boba F*cking Fett                                     Mara Jade Skywalker

And not just the new movie kind of fan…The first movie I can remember seeing in the theatre was Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back.  I’ve always been the Han Solo/Rogue/Charming/Ornery type of character, but watching Darth Vader catch those blaster bolts with his palm….this five year old was thinking, ‘Holy Sh*t!!!’ 

I love the Star Wars backstory, the future stories….My favorites include: Starkiller… Darth Vader’s secret apprentice who is responsible for kickstarting the Rebellion, Mara Jade Skywalker…The former secret assassin of The Emperor (a.k.a. The Emperor’s Hand) and wife of Luke Skywalker…(Bet most of y’all had no idea that Luke got married to a lanky redhead, did ya?)….and of course…”The Man” Boba Fett…if I have to introduce him, you are truly hopeless.

The PS2 game Star Wars:Bounty Hunter with the story of how Jango Fett got picked to be the clone for all of the Storm Troopers, and how he came to be in possession of that badass ship, Slave 1.

(Slave 1 gives the ‘Falcon a run for it’s money as most famous ship with a name in all of NerdDom.)

So yeah…growing up…this Ghost was a nerd, bookworm, mama’s boy, RPG playing, video game loving geek.

I woke up one morning about age 13, and bam, was coordinated.  So, this nerd literally went to bed and woke up a jock.  Until this past year, I played semi-pro football.


(I’m on the right….threw off two blockers to get my hands on that guy…slippery one he was…)


(Been known to hunt drunk zombies with nerf guns…they look worried…)


(Been known to kick it with the local roller derby chicks….and “meditate” on St. Pat’s!)


(Yep…this pretty much sums up my political leanings.)


(Overlooking the incorrect apostrophe usage, this about sums up my feelings about my little princess.)

Ghost is a dad.  It really is one of the few pure things in my life.  Love those four…aka The Little Demons of Chaos…even though Spectre turns 15 this fall, and is nearly 6 foot tall…..)


I love my Jeeps, and driving through crap like this.  Love the snow, and even though I haven’t been in a long time….I love to snowboard.  It is liberating.  Love it.  Gliding down the mountain. 

Common Ghost Myths:
1) Ghost is a player.
I have been married twice.  I was with the Dingbat for 7 years, and SheWhoMustNotBeNamed for almost 9.  Since age 16, I’ve been single for about 4 years.  Throw in 4 relationships of 3-6 months in there, and this guy has only been on the free market for about 2.5 years.  Ghost can also name First and Last names for every lass with which he’s shared a bed.  NOT a player.

2) Ghost is arrogant.
Ghost is self-reliant.  He’d rather screw something up and suffer the wrath than ask for assistance and get told no, or have someone promise to help and then bail.  He also projects a higher then actual confidence level, also to keep people at a distance.  He wants no help, because it’s just another way to let him down and hurt him.  So, while you’re thinking he’s a cocky ass….he’s actually just been hurt a lot and tends to keep his distance.

3) Ghost is a know-it-all.
Ghost knows a lot of sh*t.  Almost stupid smart about some things.  He learns languages like most people learn their cable channels.  It’s a gift/curse, and most of his friends…even some of his enemies try to use it to their advantage.  So, this one might be true to a point, Ghost isn’t thinking that he’s better than you though…and if he corrects you, it’s because he doesn’t want you sounding like a dumbass.  Ghost also acknowledges when he’s wrong.  If you think he’s misinformed, prove it….don’t just pout and piss and moan behind his back.

4) Ghost is a carefree, party machine.
First, if you’ve seen the St. Pat’s pics….looks can be deceiving.  When it’s time to unwind…Ghost gets loose.  But, the rest of the time, his brain never stops working on problems or solutions for his/family’s/friend’s issues.

Important Ghost details:
Ghost gives 900 chances…just like the Spectre.
Ghost loves big….just like the Jedi Starfighter Pilot.
Ghost looks out for everyone he loves….just like the Princess.
Ghost will kick your f*cking ass if you hurt his loved ones….just like the Demon Sh*t From Hell.

Where do you think they got that sh*t from?

*I hate saying no.
*I always try to help.
*Even if you pretend like I don’t exist, I still worry and care about you.
*I have a really hard time telling a woman no, who is coming on strong….especially if she’s a ginger…
*I feel like a dirty slut if I sleep with someone who I’m not involved with emotionally.
*I encourage my kids to aggressively combat bullying…literally.
(Show up at my door to b*tch at me about my kid whipping your kid’s ass…you’ve been warned.)
*I believe and work at following the teachings of Jesus Christ….I’m working on it.
*I have tattoos with deep personal/spiritual meaning.
*I randomly holler out the words ‘Whore’ and ‘Hookers’…makes the nearly 15 year old snicker.
*I invented a song called ‘Hookers and Beer’.
*I invented the saying:
“You’re a kid.  Your job is to Eat, Sleep, Grow and Have Fun.  Quit worrying about anything else.”
*I also invented this saying:
“If I get a call from the school, the cops or some girl’s parents because your grades are slipping, you’ve gotten arrested or someone is pregnant, I’m putting on my work boots, stomping through the nastiest sh*t that I can find, and putting them so far up your ass that you’ll be able to taste what’s on the bottom? Any questions?”
*I shave my head because I’m going bald, and look better this way…plus it’s seriously much cooler!
*I play Dungeons & Dragons and listen to heavy metal, and do NOT worship Satan.
*I like both of my Father Outlaws…(when you’re married their In-laws, so divorced…you get the picture…)
*I make lifelong friends everyday….made one about a year ago named Subzero…like I’ve known him my whole life.
*I’m funny.  I’m smart.  I’m loyal.  Not bad looking either. ;-)  
(The dimple, the crooked grin and the eyes usually get the job done.)

I’m not really afraid of much.  I HATE bugs.  Like an OCD thing…if I see them…I kill them.  Zero tolerance for spiders on my ceiling.

Recently, an old ailment has been troubling me.  In 2004, it was chalked up to stress.

Looking back, I can see it at work over the last year or so.

And now…I’m f*cking scared….of some letters:
MG and ALS.

They have similar symptoms….one is manageable…the other puts you in the grave….after taking your ability to move, talk, eat…but leaving you with your entire mental faculties…so you watch slowly as the door gets shut on your prison cell…then you die.

Daily, I experience muscle spasms in various parts of my body.  Typing this has been a real b*tch. My hands keep trying to curl up towards my palms.  I routinely sleep 8-10 hours straight….like the dead. Never hear a thing.  Wake up to several missed calls. I am utterly exhausted.  I’ll eat a bowl of cereal and go back to bed. Get up about an hour before work….shower and head in.  Come home, crash, start the cycle over.

This past winter I watched as my ability to lift weights eroded.  Eventually struggling to put up 135 lbs on the bench press.  Something I once did about 100 times in a row.  I do this modified routine with 15 lb dumbells that takes about 20 mins…and then I sleep for about 4 hours to recover.  I’m 6’1 and 220 lbs.  I wear 34 inch waisted jeans with 36 inch inseams.  I’m a little fluffy about the midsection, but I was in great shape….and now, I get winded going up a flight of stairs. My chest and biceps are slowly shrinking/thinning.  Last summer pitching slow-pitch softball for the local roller derby girls, I tore my left calf muscle rounding first base…I was digging in to get a triple, but ended up hopping and stumbling into second base…this was like the second inning.  Finished pitching the game.  Drank about 6 beers and got a vicodin from one of those lovely ladies and pitched the second game of a double header.  Never missed a day of work. 
imageimageimage
(Sexy pics of the torn calf muscle and the resulting bruises.)

About 18 months ago, I worked a solid week at work with a 103 temp, double pneumonia so bad that I was coughing up blood that looked like red Kool-aid, and my lung function was so poor that when I’d drink the Robitussin to stop coughing, that I’d get drunk.  Seriously….it was bad.  Never missed a shift and worked about 10 hours over that week.

This guy isn’t a wimp and usually downplays the hurt and injuries.

The heat sucks the life out of me.  But the cold invigorates me.  We had a dip about a week ago where temps fell back into the 50′s and I had more juice in the tank.  Now…it’s all I can do to make it through the 2 hour spans at work between breaks.

I have some doctor’s appointments set up…but I’m truly f*cking scared.  One will give me grief for a long time…kind of like a nagging wife that slowly sucks the life out of you….the other, puts you in the dirt in about 3-5 years on average.  Which b*tch did I get?

So who the f*ck is Ghost? 

Someone who gets up and pushes through sh*t.  A guy who refuses to f*cking quit or give up.  A man who will fight til his last step, thought, breath.

That’s who the f*ck I am.

Ghost out…

Howdy Ghostfans…

Well, we’ve got a week in the books since the Spectre’s surprise one-way ticket to Ghost’s doorstep.  Lots of video games and talking been done, and here are some gems to come my way via the unique perspective of my soon to be 15-year old:

Spectre: Hey, dad?  You ever hear many blonde jokes?
Ghost:  Please…I dated your mom…I’m pretty sure that SHE’S the reason that blonde jokes exist!
Spectre: Yeah…okay…I could see that.

Spectre: I used to be an adventurer like you…til I took an arrow to the knee.
(Any Skyrim nerds out there?)

Spectre: And for you American viewers out there….stuff happened in other countries that wasn’t “totally awesome” and didn’t involve explosions.

Subzero: How’s your boy doing?
Ghost: Oh, he’s mine alright…I get off work and walk in the door, he’s passed out on the couch, glasses on, PS3 on pause, clutching the controller….almost wouldn’t let go of it.
Subzero: Teaching that boy right, I see.  Haha.

Ghost’s mom: Oh, yes. We went to church, and one of the girls down the street asked me who that was who was with me.
Ghost (Looking at Spectre): NO!  Don’t even try to date that girl down the street…or either of her two sisters!  I grew up with their dad, and I’m just telling you right now, he’s my friend…I don’t want to run into him and have to avoid the, “So, your son’s banging my daugher…” awkward conversation.

(I guess my son is dating your daughter…but if you don’t lower that umbrella, I’m gonna have to kick your ass!)

Ghost(Playing Modern Warfare 3): Sit your ass down.  Oops, just shot your boy in his damn head…and another one….and another one…are you guys retarded?  Seriously…you run down that path..get shot in the head, and think, “Oh, I’m gonna get him!  I’ll just run back down that path and…dink…headshot….Oh, I’m really gonna get him now!!!!  I’ll just run back down that path, and…dink…headshot…”
Spectre: Did he tell you you could get back up?
Ghost: That’s right, little man!
Spectre: Aladeen, muthaf*cka!!!
(If you haven’t seen ‘The Dictator”, you won’t get it.)

Spectre(Laying on the couch): Man!  It’s only 9 am….
Ghost:  Be quiet…I normally sleep til 11 or 12…play video games or something…
Spectre: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…….

Spectre: Dad, the dog keeps trying to hump me.
Ghost: Punch him in the face.
Spectre: I can’t do that.
Ghost: Then he’s gonna keep trying it.
(Guido tries to hump Spectre’s leg again.)
Spectre: (Paff…he cuffs Guido across the snout) Get off me, dammit!
Ghost: See. Your dad knows things….now just remember that for when all the girls are wanting sex…I’m not trying to be a grandpa in the next 10 years.
Spectre: I know…I know…boot in my ass if I get someone pregnant.
Ghost: The muthaf*ckin’ U.N. is gonna be up in here talking about human rights violations, son!  Evil Dictators are gonna be calling me for tutorial lessons in torture.

(Yeah…kinda like that..but Guido is blonde, and weighs about 70 lbs and looks like Chewbacca!)

(Better set those blasters to stun!)

Well, Thursday is here and about gone.  Got a pretty cool guest blog lined up for tomorrow….meaning I stole that sh*t!!!!  AND YOU KNOW THIS, MANNNNN!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, have a good one…stay safe….

Ghost out…

Howdy Ghostfans…

Random midweek sh*t falling out of my head today…

Decided to give each one of the five voices running around up between my ears a chance to sound off today….I’ll make them do a quick introduction so you new peeps can know what the hell is going on…

(Did he just say he has ‘voices’ inside his head?)

Yep…doesn’t everyone?  No?  Huh…don’t you get lonely then?  Sometimes I have to to work at getting them to shut up, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world….plus I can’t….I’ve tried…those bastards won’t get out!

Anyway, let’s get this started…first up…Dark Side.

Yeah…I ain’t doin’ introductions.  I kick ass, find awesome stuff to do, and try to keep the other retreads from talking too much when women are around.  The character of Barney Stinson on “How I Met Your Mother” was modeled after me….true story.

Check it, hookers!

It’s true.  You aren’t wanted.  That guy or girl that NEVER returns texts, calls or voicemails….yeah….they want you to run away.  Plus, if you’re awesome…like me…they don’t deserve a second thought…piss on them. 

I’m bored…and out.  Dark Side rules!

********************************************************************

Next up, Pathos…

Hey there, I’m Pathos.  I’m the passion and drive.  The hope and the light in this strange condo of craziness here in Ghost’s head.  The poet…the writer…the dreamer…

(Shut up already, and get on with it before you make us start ovulating, sock monkey!)

Dark Side is just so emotionally stunted sometimes.

Anyway, Ghost applied for a really great position inside of Giganticorp, and actually got an email back from the hiring manager saying that he has to wait until the closing date of the posting to review credentials and set interviews, but that he liked Ghost’s info.  We got our hopes up for this one!

Also, we found out that we’ll be moving to that lab job for sure on 3rd shift on June 18th!  Hello, Air Conditioning. Goodbye, sweaty, smelly, weirdly hazy factory floor!

Have had a few ladies chatting with us recently…

(They’re hollering at us, cause we’re dead sexy, and they want some Dark Side ‘forces’ applied to that ass!)

You’re such a cretin, Dark Side.  They’re interested in more than our ‘lightsaber’ skills, you wretch.

Anyway, in closing, Ghost has been struggling with this Myastenia Gravis pretty significantly.  Been hard to do much, other than get up, go to work, and sleep.  Ghost has been playing a lot of Call of Duty, Modern Warfare 3 and watching Netflix. 

(Yeah, that bastard has gotten pretty good with that sniper rifle, and now that he unlocked that Thermal Scope, it just ain’t fair…my Force abilities and Nerdboy’s logic/strategery, and we be smoking some fools!!!)

(We seeeeeee you!  Sit your ass down, like our boy Subzero’s been telling you!!!)

You had your turn!  Stop interrupting me!!!!

Jackass!!! 

That’s about all I had.  Thanks for taking the time to read us.  We appreciate it.

(Fricking pansy!)

Sigh….

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This next guy is difficult to deal with…his name is Everto.  He represents the depressed, self loathing, self desctructive parts of Ghost….his inner demon…if you will.  Those parts damaged by the teasing and bullying as a child…the parts that never will believe they deserve anything good in life.  Most of the time….he just asks negatively charged questions….sort of mutters to himself.

(Yeah…Everto is a bit scarier than Peter Parker in a Black Spidey Suit.)

(Any Supernatural fans out there? Scary like this guy.)

Ever wonder if that part of you that’s capable of love can be broken…not like damaged and repaired, but destroyed?  Rendered useless.  Never get that ‘butterfly’ feeling in your stomach ever again? 

Ever lose control of yourself..not like your temper, but have your body stop responding to basic commands?  Every worry, every time you have a weird ache/pain/muscle spasm if you’re slowly crawling your way towards a wheel chair…or a coffin? Ever have trouble talking or swallowing…and worry that you’re not going to be anything but a vegetable…sitting in a corner in your own waste…just drooling on yourself…unable to do anything…but secretly be mentally sharp, and trapped inside of a body that doesn’t work…the most horrible prison ever imagined.

Don’t think I didn’t notice, Ghost.  When you swallow…that stuff…accidentally going down the wrong pipe…yeah…that HAS been happening a little more often hasn’t it?  Been sleeping an awful lot.  Not hearing the phone ring…sleeping through alarms…those muscle spasms in your left tricep and forearm that were actually moving the whole arm…not quite as cute as the weepy right eye or the hand tremors while you’re playing Call of Duty are they?

Harder to laugh that sh*t off, isn’t it?

How about those migraines?  You’re not supposed to be taking pain pills daily for them.  That double vision and the accompanying headaches are a b*tch aren’t they?  What are you going to do when you can’t bring your eyes to focus on that computer screen, huh?

Not like you can go back out in the shop and swing that sledge hammer now, can ya?

(The Knight says you’ve had enough time, demon.  You’re finished.)

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Next up, our resident nerd…Prodigy…the guy who started naming off all of the men who’ve played Batman in movies…who’s currently researching grad school programs and chasing his damn tail around his lab trying to come up with some conclusions.

(Dammit, Dark Side!  What happened to Prodigy’s picture?)

(***Side note explanation for Ghost’s mum… GTFO is short for Get The F*ck Out.)

“This entry cannot be completed as assigned, due to the constantly shifting variables concerning our future, and the difficulty in plotting a course when your destination is unknown and perpetually in motion.”

My apologies for the inconvenience this may have caused.

—Prodigy

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Bringing us home is the White Knight…Ghost’s resident defense mechanism and moral compass.  He works to keep us from straying too far from the course…avoid traps…in general…he’s our internal boy scout.

Gentlemen…seriously…we need to come up with a plan and execute here. 

We do not have a single area of our life under control, nor a plan for coping with the current issues at hand.

Dark Side…quit chasing women…put down the whiskey bottle, and get over here.

Pathos…(snap, snap)….get your heads out of the clouds and stop daydreaming…

Prodigy…Get out of the lab, put down the laptop…stop pacing, get over here and sit down.

Everto….get lost…we got this…if we need a tie breaking vote, we’ll toss a damn coin.

The rest of you…get the hell out of Ghost’s head…we got sh*t to do!

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Hope your Hump Day is Happy! 

(Dammit Dark Side!..Oh, screw it.)

Ghost out…

What’s up, Ghost fans?

DJ Ghost here for WGST radio….broadcasing from the middle of the good old U. S. of A.

Been awhile, and I’ve been slacking on my posts….if you haven’t heard, I’ve been fighting this auto-immune disorder/neurological condition called Myasthenia Gravis…and it blows.

Anyway, I’m here to play music and not b*tch, so here goes:

Song number 5 today is a dedication to my LDoC…the Little Demons of Chaos. Can’t wait to take you guys to see this sequel. We had a really good time at the first movie.

Pharrell Williams, Despicable Me

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Song number two, well…I’m including this one. Sometimes in life, things happen…and you’re different afterwards. I know some people have been dealing with a lot here lately…deaths in the family, changes in jobs, moving, illnesses…this song kind of speaks to me. Maybe you’ll find it soothing as well.

Red, Never Be the Same

 

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This next song goes out to anyone who’s ever screwed up….and someone has tried to control you with that failure. No matter how big your screw up, there is redemption for us all. Never let someone use guilt to control you. You can do better, and it DOES MATTER! Never let someone tell you that you’re broken and beyond repair…because that’s bullsh*t!!!

Skillet, Forgiven

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Given the elections around the corner, I have to play this one. You know how to tell when a politician is lying?

His mouth is moving.

Get to the local DMV. Get registered. Get educated. Vote.
Mine is for Ron Paul, even if I have to write it the f*ck in!!!

Nine Inch Nails, Head Like a Hole


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That brings us to song number 1…
This dedication is to my condition…MG, like this Korn song regarding the music “industry”….my incurable, quasi-treatable friend…Y’all wanna see Ghost lay down?…F*ck that!!!


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Thanks for joining me for another edition of Ghost radio…
Ghost out…

Howdy Ghost Fans…

Thought since I’d been getting these types of questions recently:

How many people help you write your blog?

Who is Pathos?  Who is Dark Side?

How do you organize all of the people who write for you?

I figured that I’d explain.

It’s all me.  Except sometimes on Fridays.  Then I’ll say, I kidnapped someone and am reblogging their material.

There are 5 different personalities that make up the Ghost….yep, 5 different voices that run around up between my ears.  They all have names: The White Knight, Dark Side, Prodigy, Pathos and Everto.

The White Knight is the good guy, the guy who plays by the rules. Dark Side is my inner bad boy…very into having a good time.  Prodigy is my inner nerd, who can sit an talk about programming hearing aids and corrective hearing loss algorithms, and carry on debates about the possibility of time travel and worm holes.  Pathos is my inner passion and sensitive guy…he pushes everyone…he’s the guy who believes in finding love.  Then….there’s Everto….the demon.  He’s the self-destructive asshole…mean, vicious….the inner self-doubt, the tormentor.

Well, I wrote introductory pieces for each of them awhile back…

Since today is May 4th, it’s appropriate on InterGalactic Star Wars Day to re-run Dark Side’s piece.

Enjoy.

Oh, Go watch The Avengers.  The future Mrs. Ghost plays a major role, and the movie just f*cking rocks.  The Hulk steals the damn show though.  Puny little god.

Ghost out…

Origins of the “Dark Side”….

(If you were too dumb to figure it out…click on the funny colored words right above for the story.)

;-)

Ghost here…

As we inch closer to the polls in November to elect the next asshole to run our country, I’m getting less able to sit quietly.

Read this:

http://www.foxnews.com/sports/2012/05/03/pettitte-testimony-in-clemens-case-could-cost-justice-department-conviction/

The Justice Department is trying to convict Roger Clemens of perjury…again.

^%@^#$^%%#^%%

Seriously? Why in the blue hell are we wasting our damn money on this?  Where are my bankers at?  I want these financial gurus on trial for SOMETHING!!!! Sh*t, I don’t even care if you can’t convict them….Get after their asses.

Make them think twice about doing something so catastrophically stupid in the future.

No one gives a f*ck about Roger f*cking Clemens.  Just more of my damn tax dollars being pissed away.  Assholes.

If this were a guy who had some weed growing in his backyard, the swat team would have secured the conviction and preserved the chain of custody and nailed that poor bastard to the wall.

Which is the bigger crime: growing some weed or stealing the future from millions of Americans?

Get your f*cking heads out of your asses and start doing your damn job.

Worthless sacks of flesh.

Ghost pissed off…and out…

What’s up, b*tches?

Dark Side here…stealing back the keyboard from the crybaby…I figured we needed to redeem our manhood with a little Dark Side spin on yesterday’s emotional twaddle…so here goes:

Have you ever told someone to ‘Go f*ck themselves’ via text and then forgot that you did…because they matter that little?

Have you ever used the Force to toss a Stormtrooper out the window…just cause you could?

Have you ever looked someone in the eye…knew they were into you..and smirked..cause you knew, that they knew…that you ‘had’ them?

Have you ever bought a girl a drink…and stole it right back minutes later? (What up, Leathernutz?)

Have you ever rocked someone’s world…but then couldn’t tell anyone…because they were an exes’ best friend/sister/cousin/acquaintance?

Have you ever flirted with someone…who was WAY out of your damn league…but got their number anyway?

Ever wanted to just smack someone for saying something dumb?

Ever actually done it? ;-)

Ever thought that someone was the dumbest person ever….but then heard them say something else that confirmed it?

Ever throw your boss off a balcony to their death?

Ever told someone that you weren’t wanting to date seriously, but have them beg you to come over to have sex with them?

Ever go? ;-)

Ever tried to list the people that you’ve had sex with and called somebody, ‘That brunette..at that bar’?

Ever write a blog about the crazy crap that’s happened to you?

Ever told the God’s honest truth…and still have people doubt you…and then have that really hot chick you hooked up with confirm the story in front of your crew?

Ever honestly told your boys that you didn’t do anything with a girl…and have them not believe you?

Ever have an exes’ new person consistently swear they were still sleeping with you?

Ever had to have a conversation with your 14 year old about ‘manscaping’? (DON’T USE THE LIGHTSABER, LD!!!)

Ever have a girl tell you that she wants to have your babies…in the middle of sex…so you get up and leave?

Ever wonder how dumb the average human being actually is?

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

 

Dark Side rules!!!

Ghost out…