Who The F*ck is Ghost?…

Howdy Ghostfans…

There seems to be some confusion about some details of the Ghost’s life…..so, I figured that I’d set out to clear my good name…..Bahahahahahahaha!!!!  Alright, alright….just to clarify what shenanigans I’m willing to claim….and present an admittedly one-sided and completely biased picture of myself….as fairly and unadulterated as possible….ok….I’m pretty sure that I’m pretty thoroughly adulterated, so scratch that last part….

Anyway, I’m a Browns fan…who drinks tea or hot chocolate at Starbucks when his friends want to go…

While I’m at it, I also am a Redbird fan…

a Washington Capitals Hockey fan…

And ever since that Goofy Charles Barkley got traded from the Sixers, I’ve been a Phoenix Suns fan…

I f*cking love Star Wars…

Starkiller, Vader’s Secret Apprentice               Boba F*cking Fett                                     Mara Jade Skywalker

And not just the new movie kind of fan…The first movie I can remember seeing in the theatre was Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back.  I’ve always been the Han Solo/Rogue/Charming/Ornery type of character, but watching Darth Vader catch those blaster bolts with his palm….this five year old was thinking, ‘Holy Sh*t!!!’ 

I love the Star Wars backstory, the future stories….My favorites include: Starkiller… Darth Vader’s secret apprentice who is responsible for kickstarting the Rebellion, Mara Jade Skywalker…The former secret assassin of The Emperor (a.k.a. The Emperor’s Hand) and wife of Luke Skywalker…(Bet most of y’all had no idea that Luke got married to a lanky redhead, did ya?)….and of course…”The Man” Boba Fett…if I have to introduce him, you are truly hopeless.

The PS2 game Star Wars:Bounty Hunter with the story of how Jango Fett got picked to be the clone for all of the Storm Troopers, and how he came to be in possession of that badass ship, Slave 1.

(Slave 1 gives the ‘Falcon a run for it’s money as most famous ship with a name in all of NerdDom.)

So yeah…growing up…this Ghost was a nerd, bookworm, mama’s boy, RPG playing, video game loving geek.

I woke up one morning about age 13, and bam, was coordinated.  So, this nerd literally went to bed and woke up a jock.  Until this past year, I played semi-pro football.

(I’m on the right….threw off two blockers to get my hands on that guy…slippery one he was…)

(Been known to hunt drunk zombies with nerf guns…they look worried…)

(Been known to kick it with the local roller derby chicks….and “meditate” on St. Pat’s!)

(Yep…this pretty much sums up my political leanings.)

(Overlooking the incorrect apostrophe usage, this about sums up my feelings about my little princess.)

Ghost is a dad.  It really is one of the few pure things in my life.  Love those four…aka The Little Demons of Chaos…even though Spectre turns 15 this fall, and is nearly 6 foot tall…..)

I love my Jeeps, and driving through crap like this.  Love the snow, and even though I haven’t been in a long time….I love to snowboard.  It is liberating.  Love it.  Gliding down the mountain. 

Common Ghost Myths:
1) Ghost is a player.
I have been married twice.  I was with the Dingbat for 7 years, and SheWhoMustNotBeNamed for almost 9.  Since age 16, I’ve been single for about 4 years.  Throw in 4 relationships of 3-6 months in there, and this guy has only been on the free market for about 2.5 years.  Ghost can also name First and Last names for every lass with which he’s shared a bed.  NOT a player.

2) Ghost is arrogant.
Ghost is self-reliant.  He’d rather screw something up and suffer the wrath than ask for assistance and get told no, or have someone promise to help and then bail.  He also projects a higher then actual confidence level, also to keep people at a distance.  He wants no help, because it’s just another way to let him down and hurt him.  So, while you’re thinking he’s a cocky ass….he’s actually just been hurt a lot and tends to keep his distance.

3) Ghost is a know-it-all.
Ghost knows a lot of sh*t.  Almost stupid smart about some things.  He learns languages like most people learn their cable channels.  It’s a gift/curse, and most of his friends…even some of his enemies try to use it to their advantage.  So, this one might be true to a point, Ghost isn’t thinking that he’s better than you though…and if he corrects you, it’s because he doesn’t want you sounding like a dumbass.  Ghost also acknowledges when he’s wrong.  If you think he’s misinformed, prove it….don’t just pout and piss and moan behind his back.

4) Ghost is a carefree, party machine.
First, if you’ve seen the St. Pat’s pics….looks can be deceiving.  When it’s time to unwind…Ghost gets loose.  But, the rest of the time, his brain never stops working on problems or solutions for his/family’s/friend’s issues.

Important Ghost details:
Ghost gives 900 chances…just like the Spectre.
Ghost loves big….just like the Jedi Starfighter Pilot.
Ghost looks out for everyone he loves….just like the Princess.
Ghost will kick your f*cking ass if you hurt his loved ones….just like the Demon Sh*t From Hell.

Where do you think they got that sh*t from?

*I hate saying no.
*I always try to help.
*Even if you pretend like I don’t exist, I still worry and care about you.
*I have a really hard time telling a woman no, who is coming on strong….especially if she’s a ginger…
*I feel like a dirty slut if I sleep with someone who I’m not involved with emotionally.
*I encourage my kids to aggressively combat bullying…literally.
(Show up at my door to b*tch at me about my kid whipping your kid’s ass…you’ve been warned.)
*I believe and work at following the teachings of Jesus Christ….I’m working on it.
*I have tattoos with deep personal/spiritual meaning.
*I randomly holler out the words ‘Whore’ and ‘Hookers’…makes the nearly 15 year old snicker.
*I invented a song called ‘Hookers and Beer’.
*I invented the saying:
“You’re a kid.  Your job is to Eat, Sleep, Grow and Have Fun.  Quit worrying about anything else.”
*I also invented this saying:
“If I get a call from the school, the cops or some girl’s parents because your grades are slipping, you’ve gotten arrested or someone is pregnant, I’m putting on my work boots, stomping through the nastiest sh*t that I can find, and putting them so far up your ass that you’ll be able to taste what’s on the bottom? Any questions?”
*I shave my head because I’m going bald, and look better this way…plus it’s seriously much cooler!
*I play Dungeons & Dragons and listen to heavy metal, and do NOT worship Satan.
*I like both of my Father Outlaws…(when you’re married their In-laws, so divorced…you get the picture…)
*I make lifelong friends everyday….made one about a year ago named Subzero…like I’ve known him my whole life.
*I’m funny.  I’m smart.  I’m loyal.  Not bad looking either.  
(The dimple, the crooked grin and the eyes usually get the job done.)

I’m not really afraid of much.  I HATE bugs.  Like an OCD thing…if I see them…I kill them.  Zero tolerance for spiders on my ceiling.

Recently, an old ailment has been troubling me.  In 2004, it was chalked up to stress.

Looking back, I can see it at work over the last year or so.

And now…I’m f*cking scared….of some letters:
MG and ALS.

They have similar symptoms….one is manageable…the other puts you in the grave….after taking your ability to move, talk, eat…but leaving you with your entire mental faculties…so you watch slowly as the door gets shut on your prison cell…then you die.

Daily, I experience muscle spasms in various parts of my body.  Typing this has been a real b*tch. My hands keep trying to curl up towards my palms.  I routinely sleep 8-10 hours straight….like the dead. Never hear a thing.  Wake up to several missed calls. I am utterly exhausted.  I’ll eat a bowl of cereal and go back to bed. Get up about an hour before work….shower and head in.  Come home, crash, start the cycle over.

This past winter I watched as my ability to lift weights eroded.  Eventually struggling to put up 135 lbs on the bench press.  Something I once did about 100 times in a row.  I do this modified routine with 15 lb dumbells that takes about 20 mins…and then I sleep for about 4 hours to recover.  I’m 6’1 and 220 lbs.  I wear 34 inch waisted jeans with 36 inch inseams.  I’m a little fluffy about the midsection, but I was in great shape….and now, I get winded going up a flight of stairs. My chest and biceps are slowly shrinking/thinning.  Last summer pitching slow-pitch softball for the local roller derby girls, I tore my left calf muscle rounding first base…I was digging in to get a triple, but ended up hopping and stumbling into second base…this was like the second inning.  Finished pitching the game.  Drank about 6 beers and got a vicodin from one of those lovely ladies and pitched the second game of a double header.  Never missed a day of work. 

(Sexy pics of the torn calf muscle and the resulting bruises.)

About 18 months ago, I worked a solid week at work with a 103 temp, double pneumonia so bad that I was coughing up blood that looked like red Kool-aid, and my lung function was so poor that when I’d drink the Robitussin to stop coughing, that I’d get drunk.  Seriously….it was bad.  Never missed a shift and worked about 10 hours over that week.

This guy isn’t a wimp and usually downplays the hurt and injuries.

The heat sucks the life out of me.  But the cold invigorates me.  We had a dip about a week ago where temps fell back into the 50′s and I had more juice in the tank.  Now…it’s all I can do to make it through the 2 hour spans at work between breaks.

I have some doctor’s appointments set up…but I’m truly f*cking scared.  One will give me grief for a long time…kind of like a nagging wife that slowly sucks the life out of you….the other, puts you in the dirt in about 3-5 years on average.  Which b*tch did I get?

So who the f*ck is Ghost? 

Someone who gets up and pushes through sh*t.  A guy who refuses to f*cking quit or give up.  A man who will fight til his last step, thought, breath.

That’s who the f*ck I am.

Ghost out…

You Know She Is Crazy But Just When You Think You Hit The Bottom Of Her Craziness, You Discover There's A Crazy Underground Garage

Reblogged from snarkysnatch:

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My ex-beau says I'm crazy. But with all due respect, I'm not the one who dated me.  Fine.  Whatever.  You call it crazy, I call it channeling my creative side with a dash of being emotionally challenged.   So what, I'm not the first girl who had a guy walk away from dating her thinking he hit the bottom level of her craziness, only to discover there was an underground garage of crazy below. 

Read more… 2,178 more words

Howdy Ghost fans... No blogs all week as Ghost deals with the unexpected of the Spectre on his doorstep...you can bet there will be some new material soon, but all of a sudden getting a near 15 year old tossed at you every day has caused some unrest for the Ghost man. Anyway, Guest blogger Friday gives you Kat SnarkySnatch. She's crazy, but we love her. Her spin on women and their dating bullsh*t. Enjoy, and have a great Memorial Day weekend...if you aren't in the States...thanks for reading me, and I'll get the keyboard out and abuse it again real soon. Ghost out...

Guest blogger Friday! April 20, 2012 edition

What’s up, f*ckers? (Channeling my Steve Stiffler from the American Pie movies.)

Hey Cub fans…here’s what you have to  brag about at this very moment:

CENTRAL	W	L	PCT	GB	HOME	ROAD	RS	RA	DIFF	STRK	L10	POFF
St. Louis	9	4	.692	-	4-2	5-2	73	42	+31	Lost 1	7-3	73.9
Milwaukee	6	7	.462	3	3-3	3-4	54	67	-13	Lost 1	5-5	39.7
Pittsburgh	5	7	.417	3.5	2-1	3-6	26	35	-9	Won 2	4-6	7.4
Cincinnati	5	8	.385	4	3-3	2-5	39	56	-17	Won 1	3-7	14.2
Houston	4	8	.333	4.5	3-3	1-5	46	49	-3	Lost 4	3-7	6.1
Chicago Cubs	3	10	.231	6	2-5	1-5	46	67	-21	Lost 5	2-8	8.9

Yep…Didn’t even make it to May and your asses are in the basement…Bahahahahahaha!!!!!

Where did you all go?  You were so vocal about the ring presentation in St. Louis. 

Crickets…..crickets….

Oh well…as you know, Ghost takes Friday’s off to play video games and chase women…or run from women chasing him…however it’s working that day…

Anyway, here’s a woman’s take on strip clubs…given that I used to date a “dancer”, I found this take remarkably uncontroversial…and at the same time…humanized the “strippers”.  Having spent time with “dancers” while they’re not at work…I can attest…some of them actually are quite interesting people.

Without further ado…I give you 21st Century and her take on strip clubs:

http://21stcenturylovetriangle.wordpress.com/2012/04/19/6-things-you-dont-know-about-strip-clubs/

Have fun this weekend b*tches!

Ghost has been invited to work security for roller derby, go to beerfest, and has a couple of ladies trying to catch the Ghost for what he can only assume is branding and then getting locked in a corral.  Oh yeah..and then he’s working Sunday again.

Should be some interesting stories this weekend anyway.

Ghost out…

Warning: Potty Mouth Ghost is checking grammar…

I warned you in the title that there is bad language…well..it’s good language…just peppered with swears….well….just the F word….enjoy:

Shout out to the Derby folks on Facespace for bringing this to my attention.

To that retard on Kat’s blog…who tried to tangle with Ghost over the correct usage of P.P.S. vs. P.S.S…..You still, are dumb…Dark Side Rules!!!!

Ghost out…

St. ‘WTF Happened’ Day???

I know you’ve been waiting….but this guy had to do some detective work to find out EXACTLY what we got in to….and even now….there is almost no photographic evidence after the parade…..and it’s still kind of fuzzy…

To make matters worse…some of the people that I ran into later in the day…..were trying to text ME to see what THEY had been doing?

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Without further delay….the sh*t I could remember…sort of…

Well…Friday night, the Ghost was at work…and I was wanting to kill someone.  Bad night at work…

Two nights before, The Beast and I started coordinating via text….

Ghost: You up for biscuits and gravy at Ponytail’s at 4am?

Beast:  Like a boss!

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After that, the question was….Do we start Friday night, or Do we get up early Saturday???

Bahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

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(Honest Abe in between the Beast and the Ghost….This is probably pretty tame considering what other folks might be doing to him later in the day…Shamrocks and Shenanigans…)

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So, I fielded some texts, and Pepsi Throwback appeared to be headed out Friday night…Subzero appeared to be nursing a flare up of his Manstration cycle….

PT hits me up about 10:30 Friday and tells me that she’s getting ready….Guess we’re gonna go out tonight and try to stay out all night….

She texts me at 10:57 and wants to know what’s up…I reply that I’m picking up the Beast and heading downtown after a quick shower and change…

As if on cue…I get this text from the Beast:

“The Beast is in the nest.  I repeat…the Beast is in the nest.  Awaiting orders from the Ghost.”

(Oh, hell….I might die this weekend….)

I replied, “Clocking out now, Charlie Murphy!”  (Watch Chappelle’s Show reruns…Reparation’s day kills….The Pimp awards are pretty good too.”

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Anyway, I walk in the door. Pour a half pint glass of Tullamore Dew…the rest into my flask…

(Ghost, what’s Tullamore Dew?)

http://www.tullamoredew-usa.com/default_main.asp

It’s Irish Whiskey…like from Ireland, tardling…Happy I could educate you.

(Oh, If somebody sees ########, and she still wants the decorative crock that it came in, I still have it.  Have her get word to me, and it’s hers….I keep promises.)

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Anywhere, where the f*ck was I?  Oh, yeah…

I mix that Dew with Organic Rootbeer and drink about a third of it.  Run through the shower…pack up the beads, the change of clothes, the fifth of Jameson and Whipped Vodka…..(for the ladies who may be wandering about, duh!)…and get ready to leave with the Beast…I pause…and say, “Sh*t…I need to go brush my teeth.”

“Drink the rest of this,” says the Beast.

(Cough, cough) “Damn….whooooo.”

The Beast replies, “You’re good….that was pretty  much mouthwash…Ain’t nothing left alive in there.”

And off we went…

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This was where Ghost posted his first Drunk post fail…Mirror Shortage.

So we”re at “Irish McIrishson’s”…and there’s an oddly “older” crowd out….this place is typically younger…college age…

This weird mix of old people and babies was mind-boggling….”The I might break a hip crowd”….vs….”The can’t keep my minidress down when I put my hands on the floor to back up on my friend and grind like a cat in heat” group….

(By the way ladies….assuming the Center-hiking-the-football position on the dance floor to grind in a skirt/minidress….isn’t hot…you just look like an ignorant tramp.)

(This on the dancefloor + Your dress around your waist = Never catching a good man….EVER if your dumb friends take a pic and you get tagged on Facespace.)

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So, as Pepsi Throwback circled this place for a parking spot, we decided to bounce up to see my favorite pixie bartender, Little B.

(Pepsi Throwback and Ghost…PT’s drink is called Little B’s “Girl Power”…email me, and I’ll get you the recipe…apparently PT fell in love with it..twice…and then couldn’t walk.)

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So…Beast, Ghost, the Car Bomb Virgin and the Red Headed B*tch were all at Little B’s spot…Pepsi Throwback met us there.  We were all drinking the $3 Long Islands…but PT scoffed at the idea…So I hollered at Little B to make me four Long Islands and “Girl drink”.

We go through a couple of rounds…with just about everyone telling us that we’re NOT going to be able to stay out all night and then drink all day tomorrow.  Which usually nets the response of me, pounding whatever drink I have, ordering another, and telling them, “Piss off, I’m Irish.”

About this time, the Car Bomb Virgin starts making noise like he’s going to strap on a pair, and roll with the big boys….Red Headed B*tch….not so much…so, RHB and CBV head for home…CBV is going to change his clothes and meet us at Ponytail’s for breakfast….

We decide to wander up the street to the gay bar for the $3 you call its… So, PT the Beast and I start heading that way…it’s about two city blocks.  Ms. Throw-a-fit…err…I mean Throwback, starts whining about her shoes, and the sidewalk being slanted and jacked up….(None of us giving her the real grief…which was that she was hammered….) and when we get to the corner…the light’s about to change….

So, Ghost takes matters into his own hands…literally…and his shoulder…

Ghost scooped up PT and carefully placing his hands to hold the dress down, but not grope her….tosses her over his shoulder and jogs the last block to the bar…

PT was squawking the whole way, while women cheered Ghost on for being such a gentleman to be carrying her since her hooker heels were so tall…(They were dynamite though!)

A little winded, Ghost set her down, and I believe she smacked me…with the Beast laughing his hairy ass off.

(Dance floor and Sky Pole at the Gay Bar.)

So we mingle….with Ghost playing defense…since the Mardi Gras incident…

Being loud, obnoxious and drunk…Beast and Ghost waited for PT to exit the rest rooms….I’m pretty sure that we offended several people…but we really didn’t care…So, we’re waiting….and waiting….and this IS the GAY bar….why is the women’s rest room line so damn long?  So, Ghost heads over to the bathrooms and spots the problem…

(The gay bar is where a lot of the attractive, young females go…the younger males have figured this out and go to hunt their prey….this was the first pack of young males to accost PT.  I step in and jerk her by her arm and say, “C’mon. Let’s go!”  She basks in the puppy game for a minute more and heads out to the deck with us……where she b*tched non-stop about the smokers….until to early 20-somethings start chatting her up….sigh…’Oh, there’s no WAY you’re over thirty…maybe 25…but no way you’re older than that…Damn, you’re fine…. (Yeah, pups…she’s older than Ghost….and Little B makes me claim 27, so yeah….she’s older than 25.)

(Yeah, those were over my shoulders…..TWICE!!!!   Wait, I haven’t told that part yet, have I…damn, I was drunxausted!!!)

So, PT grabs a seat inside, while Ghost makes Beast give him a piggy back ride down from the back deck to the dancefloor.  Beast breaks into his glowstick/rave dance moves and when you’re the size of a refridgerator….people give you space…

This is when we notice the first of several dudes “climbing the pole”…

It’s getting close to closing time, and if we’re gonna get some drinks in with Ponytail before last call, we gotta hoof it back down the four blocks to his bar.

So we let PT walk about 2 blocks this time….yep, I scooped her up and jogged/walked the rest of the way…Gotta admit…she’s not that heavy….I think I was just that drunk that my lungs weren’t functioning well….but I dropped her off at the top of the stairs to go down to Ponytail’s place….(Kind of like Cheers…underground bar…) and get smacked again….Totally worth it.

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Staggering into Ponytail’s…we’re greeted with the typical one-fingered salute….which we return cheerfully and shout, “Heeeeeyyyy!!!!!!  F*ck you!!!”

And in my worst Irish Brogue…..I pronounce the first St. Patty’s day casualty…It was a nice bit o’ wordery….but alas…it was lost on this poor bastard!

Then….we set to ordering as much liquor as fast as we could before the 4am cutoff….  CBV rejoined the crew…and we set about rectifying that virgin status he was carrying!

(Time to be a man, Car Bomb Virgin!”

(Car Bombs at the ready….)

(Car Bombs Away!!!…GO!!!!)

(Congrats on becoming a man, CBV!)

(The Anorexic Porn Star on the right….)

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Sometime between all of the damn car bombs….which I had several bought for me complimentary..(due to the fact that Car Bombing with the Ghost on St. Pat’s is a HUGE honor……We missed you Dirk!…we’ll catch you next year)….we ordered up our biscuits and gravy…I nearly yanked a guy off his bar stool and pounded some manners into him for getting handsy with Pepsi Throwback……(This dude magically disappeared…Beast and the CBV went out to “smoke” about the same time this fool did…and he didn’t come back in….Must have been a coincidence?)

I popped out to take PT home, and I start getting these texts…

Ponytail wants you to pay your tab….

Where you at fool?

Got your card…sleeping in front of your car.

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I go and grab these two fools and drag them back into Ponytail’s place as the sun is coming up….We beaded up and starting getting lit up, as Ponytail was slangin’ liquor again…God Bless the 6am First Call!!!!

We get some texts from people who are going to be coming out, and I shoot them back some hypothetical…”If I’m not so drunk that I pass out somewhere” possible rendezvous locations.

Then…we get THE arrival….

My last text to this fool was around midnight…as our shenanigans were just getting underway…

I texted this…Come out for breakfast at 4am…f*cker.

Around 6am….Subzero appeared.  I was stupid hammered…and had been hitting the flask in my side pocket as well….I had no damn idea how I was going to get through the day….about 10 am…we started to stagger over to the parade area to meet up with the local Derby girls…(How in the hell was I going to WALK the parade route?)

(Ninja, who? Ninja, what?…..Subzero, finally appears!  That a boy!  Found your Big Boy Ninja Underoos! Time to party!)

(We used to like this one….she’s the one who put us on blast with the upcoming “Meditation” pic on Facespace….Benedict Aldrin!)

(Pimp down!……Pimp down!!!  ”Meditating” while waiting for the damn parade to start, Ghost took a Screen-saver power nap…and then blasted out another 13 hours of partying!!!  If my ninja hadn’t been there, who knows what those Derby Girls might have done to me?!?)

(Lining up…I think those were the Merry Maids or something….somebody had to clean up after all this sh*t, right?)

(Getting started….)

(The truck had a wee bit o’ problem keeping up with those broads on the roller skates….)

(Who am I gonna hit in the head with these beads???  Who’s not looking at me right now? Mwuhuhahahahaha!!!!)

(Illegal Immigration….Sh*t…Who’s worried about the Mexicans??? Look at all these damn Irish folk….Who the hell let them all in?)

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Phone promptly dies right after this.  Threw it on the charger in the car and hoofed it down to the Fancy Irish Bar….where the local radio station was present with Skipper, Hello Kitty and the crew….(Shout out to the Batman!)  We got some free green tees.  Ran into a girl who gave me a nip of her Jameson Shake-up…..Sweet Lord in Heaven…those shouldn’t be legal…Is that one of the supervisors at Ghost’s factory?…..and did she just show me an ornate Celtic style shamrock tramp stamp tattoo?  Hell, yeah!!!  Great day!

Given that there were 9 billion people under that damn tent and packed into the bar…we got the hell out….but not before the Ghost gave away his best beads to the best looking red head he’d seen all day.

The rest of the night was a bit of a blur…we ate…Ghost started to get tired…so the Beast, Subzero and the CBV gave him something that would perk him right up….yep, they had him chug to pint glasses of whiskey and coke…Ghost was back!

Ron Jeremy and Jenna Jameson (not the Whiskey) came out and had a few drinks….Always good to see them.

We ran into Ms. F.O.B., Ms. Voodoo, Black Sabbath….who was so drunk he texted me over the next couple of days asking me to tell him what he was doing…(Like hitting on Jenna and asking Ron if they were swingers.)..and to apologize to any offended persons….Vlad the Impaler made an appearance and just kept calling me a fag….I think it was because he was too scared to attempt the Bell to Bell St. Patty’s Day Challenge….something about needing to “pre-game” more or some damn nonsense….

Rumor has it that on our last trip into Ponytail’s around 1 am, that ######## was even in there.  I was so exhausted and drunk that I didn’t even see her…someone said she was wearing a green wig…I remember a blur of green wig sporting lasses that day….so who the f*ck knows if we just missed running into each other….

I know that I was running into Derby girls all day…don’t recall getting slapped….odd.

That Effing Girl was at Ponytail’s at the end of the night…gave her a hug…she was hammered earlier on Jameson Shake-ups according to 1Nightstand….Wish I coulda seen that!

All in all….a great day…next year, I might need to hire a team of SOBER photographers to make sure that I can properly document the ENTIRE affair….Nah…it’d just cut into the damn drinking budget…Maybe if I get some sponsors?  Hmmm?

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Anyway, that’s about the long and short of it.  Again…the Best St. Pat’s Day, that I can recall…I don’t get to spend a lot of time with my brother…so, hanging with him, my ninja and the CBV was awesome.

Sorry it took so long…but there are still pictures surfacing and details “un-fuzzing” themselves….

This is as good as it’s gonna get…

‘Til next year….

St. Ghost out…

Ghost…you lazy prick…

Howdy, Ghost fans…

I’m still recovering from the St. Patrick’s Day Massacre…

Finally mustered up the courage to check the bank account online yesterday….

For somebody who was awake for pretty much 36 hours straight….and was drinking for about the last 25 of them….I did very well.

Still finding Derby Girl glitter on my person…afraid to wash my clothes with anything I like for fear of spreading the contamination…That hour long siesta in the back of their float truck, followed by the tossing out of beads at the masses was a ton of fun.

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I’m still getting texts from people like this:

I have a picture with you. When did I see you? I’m still can’t remember all of Saturday.

Well….

Neither can I.  I’m piecing it together from text messages, pictures popping up on Facespace where I was tagged, and pics in my own camera.

Anyway, as I’m attempting to find all of the pieces to put together a St. Pat’s post for you bastards, I’m going to resort to giving you lots of pictures with comments that I picked off the internet.  Funny or Die, Failblog.org….you know sites like that.

You should enjoy….gonna reblog this girl out of Austrailia for tomorrow.  You should dig her stuff too.  I’ll get my legs back under me soon….I hope…

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(It had to happen sooner or later…The Ghost Ex-Girlfriend Convention…..Hope this sh*t doesn’t become an annual event….Wait…the GXGC?  There should probably be some royalty earnings there?  Note to self:  Examine potential earnings windfall of such an event.)

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(More fun with translation!  This would be how one diagnoses the issues with the Ghost Ex-Girlfriend….I’m in trouble if they’ve devoted an ENTIRE department to that type of “Examination”.)

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(Seen a lot of these lately…Men…you know you’re guilty…Wait…is that the Left hand? Somebody’s been cheating on Ms. Right!)

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(Dear Lord, please get me this app for my company laptop!!!!!)

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(It doesn’t me….Cause I’d be needing to figure out ANOTHER way to dodge those darn Ghost addicts!)

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(Ladies…..I know you struggle with logic sometimes….but…care to explain here?)

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(Most important lesson of the day…Never mess with computer geeks…they can screw your life up in ways you can’t imagine.)

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Ghost out…

Crazy sh*t my friends/family says…

Well friends….I usually have some interesting characters floating around my life…this is a short one today dedicated to the things they say:

Ms. F.O.B. — “Repeat after me….Herpes is forever.”

 

“Someone’s gonna get hurt.

===Ghost “Uh. Oh. Ms. F.O.B. gonna actually bang a guy to death?”

“Give him a limp and leave him with a stutter! “

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Leathernutz — “Look at this damn place? Don’t take a girl home from here.  This whole damn bar could be  commercial for Valtrex!”

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Subzero — “Ghost…you ain’t right!”

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Succubus — “Your daughter is sorting laundry.  She just had a meltdown because she doesn’t know how to hook a bra on herself.”

(<Facepalm> Ghost’s daughter is 6….and has a near abnormal obsession with football players….<Double Facepalm>)

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The Dingbat — “You act like you think I’m stupid or something?”

(Oh, Ghost doesn’t think that honey….we all KNOW it!)

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Ghost — “The Rock loves pie.  You’ve got pie for The Rock?”

 

(Wearing the Irish Themed Mardi Gras outfit out at the bar….)

(Girl at the bar) — “What are you wearing? Is that supposed to get girls?”

===Ghost — “Please, I’ll work this ALL night.  It kills.”

(Girl at the bar) — “It isn’t working with me.”

(Ghost winks at her friend…who giggles, grabs his drink from the bar and smirks sideways so his dimple shows)

=== Ghost — “Oh, honey….What made you think I was trying?”

(Then walks off to rejoin Curveball and Leathernutz in the corner to make fun of the toothless locals.)

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My mom — “Are you going out?”

Me— “Yep.”

My mom — “Well, have a whiskey for me…but take it easy on the whores, will ya?”

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Black Sabbath — “She has big t*ts.  The bigger they t*ts, the more your IQ goes down.”

 

“Dude my head hurts. I have numbers and messages from girls I don’t remember.

Hope my beer goggles were not too bad…we must of had a great time”

===Ghost — “Is last night the reason that the old girlfriend didn’t want us hanging out?”

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1Nightstand — “Nice, is 2012 gonna be your ‘slutty’ year?”

(No, 1Nightstand and I have NEVER hooked up….contrary to those rumors that went around last year.)

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CDL   —– “GMWE, how you been?”

(GMWE…Ghost, Man Whore Extraordinaire….sigh….)

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Uncle Stretcher — “When your girl tells you it’s that ‘special time’ of the month…Do not pump your fist like Tiger Woods and yell,

‘Yes!!!  It’s blowjob week!!!!’….that never ends well.”

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We’ll leave with that one.  For the record, Ghost knows the first and last name of EVERY woman he’s ever slept with.  I am not a whore!  I know you bastards think that’s funny, so I don’t expect it to stop anytime soon.

Working on a couple new projects….been hanging out with a couple new women, so they may make an appearance.  Working on some code names for them.

Thanks again for reading…

Ghost out…

Ghostdate 02-17-2012…

Captain’s Log…

We are orbiting Planet Ghost…the Away Team is on the surface…waiting to make contact with this mysterious, Ghost character…

Okay, seriously. That’s about as much Star Trek crap as I can handle. Give me the Force and Lightsaber duels anyday of the week.

Another end of a week.  Dirk is in town, he called me, he’s headed south for work, so I may be having a couple of drinks with him tonight.  My boy Subzero is due to get drug out of his house by his Jordans and forced to have a good time.  My grade school homies from the old neighborhood, Leathernutz and Curveball might be heading out with me Saturday night…AFTER I spend the afternoon with the Little Demons of Chaos.  1Nightstand and the Derby gurlz have a Bout Saturday night, and my buddy Hammer is having a house party.

AND I HAVE TO GO TO THE DAMN DMV IN THE MORNING!!!!!!!

Take a breath Ghost, this weekend is gonna be a blur….and I am due in to work at 3pm Sunday for some Double-time fun!

I think back a decade, and my life at 23-25 was nothing like this.  Juggling family, work and a social life wasn’t hard.  I still never have enough money…but now for some damn reason, I have way more options than time to complete it all.

I’ll try to get some pics up as I go this weekend, and will have to try to take notes on the fly for a Sunday/Monday morning update for y’all.

Had the windows down on the way into work.  Will have the heater on when I leave.  Not quite a typical day here.  Sometimes you have the heat on in the morning, the air conditioner midday, only to kick the heat back on at night.  Gotta love the weather here.

No deep thoughts from Ghost today.  Just enjoying the conversations that I have going with a couple people, and soaking the day in.  Sliding into the flow of life, instead of fighting the current or trying to blaze a new path.  Call it a float trip day.  I have a couple of blogs that I’ve forwarded to a couple friends.

This girl from Cleveland is killing me.  She is like sitting in a locker room with your boys, hearing them talk smack about hooking up with girls…..but in reverse.  She is brutal, savage, and witty, all at the same time.  Here’s the link to her blog:

http://snarkysnatch.wordpress.com/2012/02/17/enjoying-a-blowjob-a-female-perspective/

NOTE***** This chick is beyond X-rated.  Keep your kids away, warm your mom before she clicks on the link.  Her guest blogger today is quite gifted with her vocabulary and ability to describe sexual matters.  It’s hot….like don’t read it at work or else you might get in trouble if your boss is an over the shoulder spy. (Or, a shout out to my Capital City Girl….CCG…you know who you are, and you might have problems like that time we played Who-can-top-this-text?)

Have a great weekend y’all.  I’ll try to do everything that you don’t want me to this weekend…and then maybe I’ll tell you about it!

Maybe.

Ghost out…

Meat…Nap…Booze…more meat…

Hangovers are awesome.  God’s little way of reminding you of how bad you were the night before…and Ghost was bad…

Dirk had arranged a lunch pow-wow, Saturday. So we got together at that Deep South Roadkill place. Huge turnout. Dirk, the Ewok, Gamer Girl, Amish, Ghost, the Leprechaun and his girl…and FINALLY…that ninja, Subzero.

(Dirk, Amish, Subzero and I were at one table. All the shorties were at the other.) The crap that comes out during these get-togethers just isn’t right: The peanut wars across the aisle with the table of little people.  The comment about Dirk’s ribeye bone and an unidentified female’s takeout box. Amish’s rant about all things ‘nerd’. Gamer girl was talking about the Star Wars:Old Republic MMORPG.

Amish says, “Yeah, all I just heard was Nerd, nerd, nerd, nerdy, nerdy, nerd.”

The meal…bread..a Caesar salad…and large steak. Mmmm.

Now, it was a time for a nap. Amish bounces at a bar notorious for being the destination for the local university’s underage drinkers.  So, this was to be the rallying point for night two of my weekend craziness.

Nap then.  I hit the couch with the PS3, my newly developed addiction to TV series shows on Netflix, and took brief naps in between the laundry buzzer.

That night started with me finally getting off my butt and getting showered and dressed. My boy Subzero was having a rough time, so I rallied the boys and got on a mission: Get him laid.

No just kidding. I was making sure that he got out and we drug his inner ninja up to the surface to come out and play. Then we might see some of that swagger come back. He’s at his best when he’s hurling those ice blasts and doing those full screen sliding kicks.

First we had to swing by and say hello to my girl, 1Nightstand. That Effing Girl and the Derby Girls were out at a bar to celebrate 1Nightstand’s bday early. After BSing it awhile, it was time to roll. Her pink hat was pretty nice…Ghost can’t do pink…just can’t.

(1Nightstand and Ghost playing Hat Swap.)

So, off we rolled to pick up the giant, Dirk and head to the land of the underaged….the Amish Bar.

I hadn’t been in this bar, since I graduated back in 2004. There was a reason….I didn’t remember until we were there….I was too old for these rides. Hell, by 22 I was too old, so now….it was just funny. It was like watching little kids play dress up. All of the little girls were there in their mismatched slutty outfits. Seriously, I swear they just wore whatever pair of heels they owned, and the shortest, tightest mini-dresses they could find. Then we spotted this guy:

(Creeper Alert. Whoop-Whoop-Whoop!)

Yes, that’s a neon hoola-hoop. And yes….we fully suspected that the passenger van in the parking lot was his and he had candy in it. After trying to play with the little girls and their hoola-hoop, he wandered around a bit. We watched two girls work him for a drink and ditch him. Well played, brave ones. Take the candy, but not get in the van. Just plain creepy.

Ran into a couple of more characters: the Dark Eyed Lass, the Hammer, The Legal Twins 1&2…

The Hammer was ahead of me in HS by a couple of years. He warned me to stay out of trouble…Pffft….yeah, he knows me.

The Dark Eyed Lass looked really familiar to me when she walked in. She sat around the corner from us.  She stood out, because she was the only one there dressed attractively without looking like a slut.  That and she also LOOKED old enough to order a drink.

We were just sitting and laughing at the kids on the dance floor. The pregnant chick in the short dress on the speaker dancing was a bit of a shocker. Seriously? Was there any thinking going on there?

Dirk was doing the usual. Drinking Jack and Coke, and trying not to lose his mind and kill some idiot who is too drunk and keeps swaying into him. Subzero is doing his usual..I’m cool and just gonna sit here and chill.

It was about this time that the Dark Eyed Lass strolled closer and I had to ask her who she was. Turns out that she used to be a waitress at this pub that Subzero and I used to hit from time to time. Now she was the manager, and she had this annoying pink tumor on her ass. (Yeah, Ghost said it…I dislike pink shirts on dudes. God they look terrible.)

Anyway, from time to time the DJ would mix in about 30 seconds of an old school song, and I’d lean over and start singing it ridiculously loud at her….and she was singing back. Score. (Yes, Ghost was poking the tumor to size it up. I was feeling a bit ornery, and if the dude got mad enough to start something..I had God’s plenty of backup.)

Not too much longer, and a few more, Ghost Rap sing alongs, and she slides over near Subzero and I and announces that she wasn’t with the tumor. HEY! Yep, we now had a collaborator for more shenanigans!

(The Dark Eyed Lass and the Hammer pose for Ghost pics.)

Subzero was a little relieved. The Cougars had starting trickling into the bar, and the one wearing the backwards baseball cap kept eyeballing him like she was wanting to get a little “frostbite” from Ol’ Zero.

We talked, sang along to the Old school samples and DEL chimes in with this after a clip of Nelly’s “Ride Wit Me”:

(The line in the song talks about how the girls can be 18 with an attitude or 19 kinda snotty, acting real rude.)

“Oh, there’s a whole lotta that in here tonight.” We had a couple more laughs as the attention seeking little girls clacked by  in their oversized heels, trying way too hard.

The we started playing Ghost bar games….

Match the Cougar Grannie with her In-Bar Granddaughter.  Good for some laughs. You have several options. Match by facial features, hair styles, articles of clothing, dance moves…etc…

Next required me to seek out some contestants…Fake ID or not.

(Legal Twins and Ghost.)

So, we pick out the Legal Twins. It was unanimous. We all thought they were in on fakes. These kind ladies are seniors at the University, and were more than kind enough to flash ID for me. Even though #1 got her address wrong…they looked legit. So rules dictated that they pick the next contestants, but they told me that they knew everyone in the bar, so it wouldn’t be fair. Seeing the game come to an end was sad, but then #1 points out a girl and tells me to go bust her for being in on a fake ID and tell her that she’s under arrest. I totally should have done it, told her to take a cab home immediately or that she’d be going to jail.

The striped mini-dress insisted that she was of age (though would never present ID) and even after I tried walking away, she kept insisting that she was telling the truth. This game got old. Dirk and I rocked a car bomb, after a kid and his buddy from the University high-fived me for wearing my Cleveland Browns jersey.  (We shuddered as we walked past the chick with eyeballs tattooed on the tops of her boobs and got the hell out of there.)

After dropping Dirk off downtown, it was time to introduce Ol ‘Zero to Hazzard county and two of the three bars over there open until 4am….(the strip club is the other….and I have filled my quota of being in strip clubs for the year already this month)….so we hit the Pirate bar and That Bar Where You Go To Get Knifed…Or Buy Meth.

My boys Leathernutz and Ron Jeremy were supposed to meet us, and since there wasn’t really much going on at the Pirate bar we bounced down to the Ice and Dice for a beer or two.

Where to start at this bar…well. I’ll just list the ways in which this place was just all sorts of wrong:

Lots of Big Girls…we really needed Bacon Bits. He’d have had a field day.

Glitter Zebra was rocking a top that completed the zebra stripes using silver glitter. I think it was a sort of backless type thing.

Greasy, long haired stocking cap girl…(that kept sliding in between us and our view of the only two good looking girls dancing with each other.)

Stretchmark Muffintop….’Nuff said.

Black, Knee-high furry boot chick wearing black tights, a tiny plaid maroon mini-skort.

Leathernutz and his wife Angel were there with Ron and his girl Jenna. I had warned Subzero that as soon as we got there that these guys had known me since grade school and they would probably start straight in on the insults.

Leathernutz led the charge….Jokes about the glare off my white ass. Classic.

He then followed it up with this gem, “This whole damn building could be a commercial for Valtrex.”

(In case you didn’t know what Valtrex was: http://www.valtrex.com/)

Watching the girl in the grey sweatpants and cowboy boots do the “Flying Grinding Cowgirl” on two different guys was enough to actually render me speechless. Wow. Just f*cking wow.

The cure girls actually wiggled their way over near us and ‘Zero starts talking smack. So, after watching the horrible seizures being committed in the name of dance. I got my ass out there for two songs. The cute girl with the really nice butt gives me her number, and ‘Zero and I head back downtown to Ponytail’s spot. (It was nice to have someone wanting a piece of the Ghost when I put forth so little in effort getting dressed. My old, beat-up black Shox, a pair of khaki cargo pants that I wear to work sometimes, my Browns jersey and the throwback Browns stocking cap.)

Dirk is there with The Anorexic Porn Star, VaJayJay, the Prophet, and the Ewok. Dirk has been after me to order this Meat-stravaganza sandwich, so we order the Carnivore. Holy hell. It’s a half-pound burger, a chicken breast, bacon, sliced ham and topped with an egg. (There may have been  more stuff on it, I’ll take a pic for y’all next time.)

While I choke down this monster sandwich, the stories just keep coming. The best was probably from the Ewok. The topic of porn got brought up, and he tells this story about being up in “The City” and walking through the mall and getting in line at the Cinnabon. So, there’s a chick in front of him with headphones connected to her cellphone and he gets bored and peeks over her shoulder….yep, full on porn on this chick’s phone. Awesome. The stories you hear at the bar at 6am.

The topic of the short dress/hookerpalooza fest gets batted around. Theory develops that all these girls had to go blow their Christmas gift cards and that’s where the new wardrobes popped up.

Va-Jizzle fires back with, “That’s why it smells so bad outside right now.”

Classy. Gotta love this dirty little river town.

Don’t they say that nothing good happens after 2 a.m. ?

Well, it certainly gets weird.

Next week, Vlad is having a ‘Divorce party’. He never had a Bachelor party, so he’s going all out for his divorce. The Hairy Gymrat is moving, so we’ll see what shakes out.

Important thing was that ‘Zero had a good time. I dressed like a dumbass and had a blast.

Back to work tomorrow afternoon.

Updates on the personal improvements and the new song for the week tomorrow. Let me know what you think about the pics being set into the blog. Still playing with all the tools. It should get better as we go.

Well, this thing is approaching 2000 words, plus pics, so some of you may be thinking you just read a novel.

I typically talk and think too much….so, this is probably right on par for the course.

Thanks for reading me.

Ghost out…

Making the rounds…

Howdy, sportsfans.

Ghost got his workout in Friday night after work, and missed hanging out with the little bro for his celebratory bday dinner. Feel kinda shity about that. Felt really good to get back to the gym though. Gonna keep following up on Personal Project #2, Losing the Ghost love handles. I’m sitting about 25% body fat and 221 lbs. I’ve never been that guy with 0% bodyfat and abs, but in college when I was running track, I was about 12% and 197 lbs. While bulking up upperbody has been a goal, the blubber about my waist and this front porch that jiggles like the Pillsbury dough boy has GOT to go!

So, I got up and played some Modern Warfare 3 online with my boy Subzero. Haven’t been getting as much quality time in with my boy since my move to second shift. Killing stuff is a great way to blow off steam…aside from the fact that I’m not that good really. Sort of just below average. I used to be pretty good at video games, but they’re starting to pass me up a bit. So many buttons on that damn controller now, plus it’s motion sensitive, and some games you have to tip the controller AND hit the right buttons.  Might need to take up some old man hobbies like sitting on the porch with a glass of scotch and smoking a cigar….(Well, maybe a glass of whiskey…I’m am the Irish Ghost after all.)

Tossed some pictures out there yesterday for some of y’all who are too busy/just don’t want to read. I’ll start doing this more often.

(As to the request for pics of boobs…Gotta keep this place Rated R or less, so maybe some racier pics, but I’m just not that titillating….pun intended.

Found out at work on Friday, that the guy who works RIGHT next to me got pulled for the random drug testing that recently started up at work. Kinda spooky. From what I understand, the office people and CEO types don’t get tested…why are the people on the shop floor? If I show up to work on Monday after having smoked weed on the weekend (which I don’t do), what really happens? There are safety nets in place to catch my mistakes. Our CFO gets busted in his office doing blow off a hooker’s bajingo, and he can embezzle millions and single-handedly tank the entire company’s stock, hurting every employee and all of the shareholders.

Seems like what’s good for the peasant is good for the lord in this case. Start testing those desk jockeys in the office like you do the grease monkeys in the shop. Equality, I wants it.

Met up with TFG (That Effing Girl), we got some food at the Olive Garden, and I ordered my usual bowl of soup…four times, and then had some marinara pasta. We had some interesting discussion about the possibility of a higher power existing, and why dating today is so hard. It was interesting to hear that she doesn’t believe in a god because of all of the bad people that are there…..but she seems to hold onto this idea that there is at least ONE guy out there who would be great for her, in SPITE of the fact that there are so many worthless ones out there.

We went and got coffee and waited for Gym Shorts to meet up with us. The three of us went and saw Underworld Awakening 3D. Great little action flick. Some of the plot was thin. There were some weird quirks in the fighting scenes, where she couldn’t hit the broad side of the barn, and then fires off like a dozen head shots in a row. But all in all, it was a cool little twist to give the series new life. They have at least enough material to do two more flicks, which gives me hope to make it through the final Twinkle vampire flick and then something to look forward to while Ernest and Billie fade into obscurity…damn sparkle vamps.

(So, you probably are wondering why I’m calling that poor girl Gym Shorts….Well, she and I went to high school together, and had the same gym class….let’s just say that sophomore year, this woman’s legs and posterior were something I spent a LOT of time admiring. Those damn gym shorts were a sight to see….and now, she’s still damn fine.)

GS is a single mom, working, trying to get a degree to move her career along to take better care of her son. Started laughing when I was explaining my last relationship. She asked how long SB and I were together. So, I told her that it was about 6 months, but in the beginning we weren’t “officially” a couple, because SB didn’t want to put a label on it. I kept asking, “What the hell is this that we’re doing?”

Apparently, she’s “seeing” a younger guy…sort of…who isn’t wanting to label what they’re doing either.  These younger kids and their inability to make decisions or commit to anything. In the era of On-Demand TV, “There’s an app for that”, Mobile Wi-fi, and the Constant Newsfeed of Facespace, they have unlimited access to knowledge of where their friends/significant others are.

Back in the day, you had to make a point to contact your girlfriend and ask her about her day. SB used to get pissy with me for asking her about shit she had posted on Facespace. I should have already known that. Well, if the computer or phone is telling me everything that I should know, what does that leave you to talk about when you’re together? Who I’m voting for on American Idol? No, thank you. I like my girlfriend to be live, in color, in front of MY audience.

“How was your day?” has turned into an annoyance, instead of an effort of a concerned boyfriend to connect with his girl.

Don’t get me wrong. technology has allowed me to stay connected with people that I never would have previously. I have a few friends who are currently overseas. I can send them a message and within hours usually, I have a reply. Hell, sometimes we chat instantly. That’s great. But this disconnect that has formed with people LITERALLY sitting next to you on the couch is  the problem.

If I wanted to go out with my boys back in the day, I had to call them…on the phone…at their house…and sometimes, leave a message. It took days to coordinate shit. Your money wasn’t immediately in your account on payday either. Sometimes that crap came in the mail (YES, SNAIL MAIL!!!) or there was a delay in printing them, or you couldn’t get to the bank before they closed to deposit it. There were a lot more factors to work out.

You used to have to wait for everything. Movies took years to get to HBO or aired on television. Then came video rental stores. Now we have instant on-demand video streaming to your cell phone. Amazing! When I was chilling with the Spectre before tossing him on the plane to go home, we watched reruns of that 70′s Show on my phone on Netflix. I kissed him on his head and told him how proud I was of him, and he started crying a little. It helped us pass the time til he got on the plane….then to seal the deal, I flipped him off right as he’s handing his ticket to the woman at the gate, just before he got on the plane and got a smile and giggle out of him. (Yeah, I don’t subscribe to the ‘How to be a good parent” journal. I definitely practice the “Ghost decided to try this” school of parenting.)

But, I think this current generation is suffering from a serious lack of genuine human interaction. While they know EVERY f*cking thing going on in all of their friends lives, they’re so busy taking pics and waiting to comment on them after they’ve uploaded, that they’re not actually LIVING their life. Just sort of quasi-documenting things.

I hope this guy seeing Gym Shorts figures out “what they’re doing” soon. She’s a catch. Good women don’t fall out of the sky everyday. If you’re lucky to have one land on your lap, you sure as hell don’t send her out to the movies with Ghost, and on to karaoke with the Roller Derby girls. (GS first karaoke experience. She and I belted out Everclear’s Santa Monica….She was just singing with your…Ghost…

Anyway, I ended up tracking down another couple of buddies. GS called it a night around 2, and TFG desperately tried to dodge the pretty boy she tried to catch. He was cool…until he talked. Then she had to pull the eject lever quick, and this dude was persistent. She slipped out the back and was gone before his drunk ass knew it. I had to laugh…and did…and am still. Bahahahaha!!!

Then there was 1Nightstand. Another cool chick, despite her nickname is on one helluva dry spell. Just not able to talk to guys….and admittedly too damn picky. Dating at our age is like trying to buy a used car. You can’t get one with exactly the mileage, options and color you want. You gotta allow for a scratch or dent here or there.  Finding a Late Twenties- Mid Thirties guy, with a good job, no kids, similar interests, attractive with no emotional baggage…is impossible.  Just like finding a 24 year old model, no kids, no drug habit, that is loyal and wants to have sex with you 24 hrs a day is impossible for guys…unless you’re a professional athlete, actor or musician….(Then it only costs you 750 million and 3 of your mansions….Dumbass, Kobe…..we won’t even get to Tiger.)

Those derby girls run in a pretty wild pack and know how to have a good time. Karaoke was great. My favorite event was “Secretly Chalk Your Hands, and then grope someone tag”.  1Nightstand has this amazing pick of two perfect handprints on her breasts. I had two amazing chalk handprints on my ass following blindside smacks. I, of course, joined in. During a popular song where everyone was kind of leaning on each other and singing along, I slipped in between TFG and another girl and left each of them one perfect Ghost handprint on their asses.

When asked why I don’t hang with them more often, I replied, ‘Frankly, I’m always afraid that I won’t be able to afford bail.’

Ended the night, hanging with Dirk, T.A.P.S. and Bacon Bits at Ponytail’s bar. Cameo by Chainsaw.

Most popular topic:  Damn, Ghost.  You look a lot better than you did last week.

You know what. I got back into the gym. Got my first tattoo (Yes, Not-Bill…it DOES feel like really bad sunburn….and YES, I do know what those feel like.) Hung out with some good people. Made a conscious decision to talk to people that I enjoy being around.

Now, I also hadn’t been downing Rumplemintz and Car Bombs like water either.  But, I am feeling better. About myself. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally…(Come on, I ain’t right. But that’s what makes me…me.)

This one is on the mend. By the time this tattoo peels, I’ll probably be feeling pretty damn good.

Most likely will get a couple more tattoos. I have a couple of important people who will probably be memorialized when they pass, and I’ve had this Cross tattoo I’ve been wanting to get for awhile for my faith. But I don’t see myself getting completely inked up.

Well, this post is getting pretty long, so I’m going to wrap it up. Look for my song of the week tomorrow. Look for my personal improvement task for the week later today.

As always, thanks for reading…

Ghost out…