Posts Tagged ‘Star Wars’

Howdy Ghost fans…

So, I humbly submit the following two pieces of evidence to bolster my case for winning Father of the Year:

Facebook post from last week:

Ghost:
If I told you that:
I smacked my kid in the back of the head, and said, “No capes.”
Would you get it?…or think about calling Child Protective Services?

For those of you who haven’t seen “The Incredibles”:

So MY mother sees this post, and texts my oldest:
Did your dad really smack you upside the head and say ‘No Capes’?

To which my son replies:
No…but he smacked about 19 times for not knowing what a Mandalorian was.

Boy…you’re lucky you weren’t disintegrated!

I blame your mother, for this lack of education…
********************************************************************
On a mildly related…humorous note:

My 10 year old has a very “unique” world view, and used to holler these movie lines at his mom when directed to go into his room and get dressed for school.

While the youngest devil pulled a vanishing routine on his first day of First Grade like this:

Anyone that’s every babysat for the General of the Little Demons of Chaos…knows…Pixar totally ripped him off.
********************************************************************

Anyway, point two to augment my case for FOTY:

The oldest boy usually gets himself up and off to the bus before I arrive home in the morning.  This is the text I receive last night as I’m walking in the door to my third shift job:

“Late start tomorrow don’t kick my butt because I’m still asleep when you get home.”

First of all…no commas?  I should smack you upside the head for failing to use proper grammar.

Second…Ok, I probably would have Force thrown you out of bed upon arrival in the AM…good call.

Oh, well…we’ll see if I win this year.

Ghost out…

Thirdly…isn’t a healthy fear of one’s parents a good thing? Keep a kid out of trouble right?

Oh well…

Here goes:

Ghost: Gonna call you when I get off work.

Lost Demon: ok i will be waiting

Ghost: Your reply should have been….Yes, my master.  Like Darth Vader.

Lost Demon: yess masster

Ghost: No…It’s…Yes, my master. Vader…not Igor.

Lost Demon: vader i am your son

Ghost: Quit trying to argue. I said LIKE Vader. That’s how Sith address their masters…jabroni….and f*cking use some punctuation while I’m at it!!!

Lost Demon: i was pulling a movie quote in reverse. luke i am your father? yes, my master

Ghost:  Better, now try some Caps too.

Lost Demon: Yes, my master

Ghost: Period. Use the damn period!

Lost Demon: YES, MY MASTER.

Ghost: Too much capitals…now you’re yelling. Dumbass. Try again.

Lost Demon: Yes, my master.

Ghost: There you go.  Much better.

Lost Demon: x facepalm x

Ghost: You’re gonna think Facepalm when I use the Force to reach through the phone and smack you in the back of the head.

Lost Demon: Haha

Ghost: Little punk…wait til I see you next…

Lost Demon: x gulp x

Ghost: Mwuhuhahaha!!!

Lost Demon: i have no idea on how to respond

Ghost: Try using correct grammar and punctuation.

Lost Demon. Ok I will.

********************************************************************

Sigh….kids…eventually, you have to turn over the keys to the stardestroyer….

Ghost out…

What up, Ghost fans?  I figured that I’d drop some back story for one of the characters that lives in my head.  There will be some pictures for you dumb folk….Ghost’ll take care of you. ;-)

Now when I say, Dark Side, I’m betting most of you think this:

You’d be close…but not quite right…..

Vader had a secret apprentice…he’s the subject of the Force Unleashed Novels and video games.  If you’re a die hard Star Wars fan…you have GOT to check these out.  I’d also recommend the Legacy of the Force novels.  They’re set way after the movies.  Luke and Leia have grown up kids. 

Then, shoot George Lucas a nasty-gram.  Get off your lazy ass and make us some NEW movies.  It isn’t like you haven’t got the material.  Starkiller is a P-I-M-P.  A confused good guy with bad guy powers…Oh hell, yes.  A guy that you can root for….that hurls lightning, jedi-mind tricks his enemies into shooting their friends…or jumping off cliffs to their death.  HELL YES!!!!!

 

(Say hello, to Starkiller…)

(You really should watch your step, Stormtrooper….dumbass.  Mwuhuhahahaha!!!)

Vader kills Galen’s father following Order 66, and raises him to be his secret apprentice.  Vader uses him to lure the early beginnings of the rebel alliance out into the open…to crush them.  He betrays his apprentice one too many times though…and turns his power against the Emperor and Vader…he saves the Rebel leaders and as we are lead to believe…dies.

(But, wait…..who’s THIS badass mofo…with TWO lightsabers now?)

The second novel/game starts off at the cloning facility on Kamino….has Vader actually CLONED a jedi?  Starkiller HAS been cloned!  But he still remembers Galen’s past…and a woman..Juno Eclipse.  He eventually breaks out and starts causing problems for Vader again.  Returning for a head to head with the master….that and slaughtering everything in that damn cloning facility…including a bunch of almost hims.  Besting Vader gives you the option of sparing his life….or killing him….however…

(Who wants some of this?)

If you opt to rid the galaxy of the Dark Lord….no, not that one…damn Harry Potter nerds…Vader.

You get to meet this guy: 

The successful, EVIL, clone..the Dark Apprentice….and he runs you through with his saber and offs your girl.

Anxiously awaiting the thrid installment of this story.

********************************************************

(Alright Ghost, what in the blue hell does this have to do with the guy who lives in your head?)

I was getting there, toolbox.  Hold your diaper up.

One of the very first movies (and actually my favorite of all time) that I ever got to see in the theater, was Empire Strikes Back.  It came out in 1980, but movies didn’t release like they do now.  I live in the midwest…average size place…but movies could take a year or two to get here.  It was probably about 1982, and I was geeked about Star Wars.  We knew that Return of the Jedi was on the way.  But I was only 5….and money was real tight.  My dad had gotten let go from Giganticorp about a year earlier in a massive layoff.  But my mom and I went and split a medium Cherry Coke and a Skor bar.  I got that, because that’s what the BIG people got.  I was definitely a BIG boy.  I was going to go see Empire…come on.

Well, I remember the sky city and Vader appearing out of nowhere and catching Han Solo’s blaster bolts in his hand.  DAMN!!!!  Then, he makes the “Luke, I am your father” speech.  I argued with my mom for hours.  He’s the BAD GUY!  He’s a LIAR!!!!

Of course, later in the final movie, Vader is redeemed.  He tosses the Emperor down the reactor shaft to save his son.

This is why my character is called Dark Side.  He’s bad….he can be really bad at times…but there’s good in there…and there’s a line he won’t cross. 

(I may be a real bad boy….yeah…I’m definitely that…but……yeah…that damn nice man is in there too.)

Like Starkiller…he definitely has bad guy powers…he spits insults and sarcasm like no one’s business…but it’s usually deserved.

I think we’ve all been in that place where we’ve done sh*t we weren’t proud of….and Vader and Starkiller are like that…but in the end, they can be redeemed…and that’s what I have to believe in.  There has to always be hope for a sinner…that he can change and be loved….because this guy has definitely done some bad sh*t…and I don’t want to be forever typecast as the villain.

***********************************************************************

Hope that helps.  Maybe you understand better…maybe not….

Dark Side rules….

Ghost out…